So we have had the update, not necessarily the worst news but it’s still not great. Mums cancer is incurable. Nothing other than that - they still don’t know what the primary cancer and the consultant mentioned that it looks like bowel cancer. How can they not know?!

We haven’t been told anything about grade or stage but assuming it’s incurable I’m guessing stage 4. 

The good news - they have said they will start treatment to give us more time. We’re awaiting news on oncologist and next appointment. But again no timespan - it’s so frustrating! I feel like we are being left in the dark.

Does anyone else have experience with this? 

So we have had the update, not necessarily the worst news but it’s still not great. Mums cancer is incurable. Nothing other than that - they still don’t know what the primary cancer and the consultant mentioned that it looks like bowel cancer. How can they not know?!

We haven’t been told anything about grade or stage but assuming it’s incurable I’m guessing stage 4. 

The good news - they have said they will start treatment to give us more time. We’re awaiting news on oncologist and next appointment. But again no timespan - it’s so frustrating! I feel like we are being left in the dark.

Does anyone else have experience with this? 

Hi, don't feel like there is no hope for your mum. There is. Always is.Cancer maybe Is Incurable now but is good they start treatment which could change everything. There is a lot of patients stories with stage 4 and they are still alive. After few cycles they probably review again, do CT scan. There is still a chance that cancer may stop growing and shrink and then will be curable. Every patient react different for treatment. Hope will helps your mum!!. Do you know which chemo she will has?Don't be down, have hope. We thought same about my mum, that there is no hope, a year after she is still alive and looking promissing. all doctors are impressed because her chances was down to 0. About waiting for treatment appointment is a bit ridiculous. There is no time to waste, need action now..I can understand your frustration.

Hi Robinsb,

I am sorry to hear that your mum's cancer is incurable, but take heart from the good news - that it is treatable. It can sometimes be difficult to identify the primary cancer. Perhaps they'll need to  further tests to see if it is bowel cancer. How has your mum dealt with this news? It can be difficult to take in. Did you ask for a timespan? It is always worth doing this when any further appointments or test results are due.

I hope that she gets to see the oncologist soon and can get started on treatment.

Please keep in touch and let us know how she gets on.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Mum sadly passed away on 30th Sept. I am devastated x

I'm sure Jolamine will offer her support to you soon Robinsb but in the meantime, I just wanted to let you know your post has been seen and offer you my sincerest condolences for your loss.

I can't begin to imagine what you must be going through at the moment but I hope knowing that we are here for you can be of some comfort to you at this time.

Be kind to yourself Robinsb and try to take things one day at a time. 

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Robinsb,

I am so sorry to hear this and am sending you my thoughts and my sincere sympathy. I can understand how devastated you must be feeling and expect that you must also be feeling pretty drained, having been there for your Mum throughout this time.

Do you have a nice photo of her? I found this a great help after my Mum died. I put it in a prominent place and often found myself talking to her. Do you have any support at home or from friend?. At the moment you will probably find that her final few weeks/months are foremost in your mind. These probably won't be your pleasantest memories. Try to recall the happier times too and talk about her. 

Don't forget that we are always here for you - on the bad days, as well as the good.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx