Hello,

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad and mum. I can imagine what you feeling. My mum has been diagnosed with advanced stomach cancer plus ascietes last July with poor prognosis. One doctor was giving her a month life left the other 4 months. She was devastated but this is where YOU step in. You have to be strong. Is hard but you need to do it for her. She must feel that you believe she can make it and stay positive. I thought I would be able to handle. I cried for 3 weeks every day. I was not want accept that my mum has cancer. Then is like the fight the cancer came along itself, you know why? Because person who is sick is your loved one. My mum fighting because she see we fighting with her.  This make her feel she can beat this! She knows she is not alone and others believe this can be cured. Now almost year after doctor saying that she has many years a head even wasn't looking good a year ago. Medicine plus positive thinking can make miracles. Make sure your mum have heathy nutrient diet. Her body need has to be strong to be able fight with it.  Don't worry in advance. Know is hard. I m here but my mum live in Poland and is very difficult for me cope emotionally and life day by day. I call my parents every day and we talk about cancer but I try talk about normal things, we lough and jokes so she forget for a moment about cancer. I know how hard is waiting for results. Week looks like eternity... And CT results like a death sentence ( this how my mum describe) terrifying every scan.... Wishing you and your mum strength.  Everything will ok. You have to be strong, give a cuddle, tell her you love her or just be with her, make her feel she is not alone with it. Look after yourself too. You need - for her!!!

Thanks Anna for your guidance, I hope to find the strength to be the rock she needs. When I am with her I cope and am positive but as soon as I get home it all falls apart. We have a consultant review next week so trying to remain as positive as possible x

Hi Robinsb,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

I am so sorry to hear of what you are going through and have already been through. As you already know, this is not an easy task. The main thing is to remain positive around your mum. Most of us fall apart when we get home. However, we all need a release valve, so don't worry about shedding tears in private. When your back is up against the wall like this, we somehow or other find the strength to see it through.

I lost my own mum to secondary breast cancer, which had spread to her brain, bones, liver and lungs. Sadly, it was not an easy journey for her, but I did the best that I could at that time. I have since had 2 bouts of breast cancer myself, which has given me more insight into how I might have helped her more. She will need your support in all aspects of her life and care, especially as the cancer advances. Being there for her to talk through her fears and concerns will be invaluable. Watch that she is not in pain. If she is, she may need to have her medicine topped up. You will probably be the first person to notice if this happens, as you see her frequently and probably know her better than anyone else.

I hope and pray that treatment is still an option for her and that her consultant will be able to help you both through this. You will get a better idea of what you can do to help once you have that review next week. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Robinsb,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

I am so sorry to hear of what you are going through and have already been through. As you already know, this is not an easy task. The main thing is to remain positive around your mum. Most of us fall apart when we get home. However, we all need a release valve, so don't worry about shedding tears in private. When your back is up against the wall like this, we somehow or other find the strength to see it through.

I lost my own mum to secondary breast cancer, which had spread to her brain, bones, liver and lungs. Sadly, it was not an easy journey for her, but I did the best that I could at that time. I have since had 2 bouts of breast cancer myself, which has given me more insight into how I might have helped her more. She will need your support in all aspects of her life and care, especially as the cancer advances. Being there for her to talk through her fears and concerns will be invaluable. Watch that she is not in pain. If she is, she may need to have her medicine topped up. You will probably be the first person to notice if this happens, as you see her frequently and probably know her better than anyone else.

I hope and pray that treatment is still an option for her and that her consultant will be able to help you both through this. You will get a better idea of what you can do to help once you have that review next week. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx