the future looks bleak

I am new to this forum.  My husband, aged 76, has been diagnosed with cancer of the stomach and oesophagus.  Thus far he has had CT scan Endoscopy, gastroscopy, and PET scan.  A lesion on the liver was probably not malignant, but further tests (MRI and laparoscopy) will be carried out.  In addition, heart and lung resilience has been found to be OK, but overall fitness has yet to be assessed.


I am supporting him every step of the way, but we live in mid Devon, and some of the tests and the operation if it is deemed to be ok in the light of all the test results, will be in Plymouth - many miles away.  To support him, I would have to stay at a hotel, since travelling back and forth each day is not viable.

I am finding it all overwhelming.  In many ways (and I feel so guilty expressing this) I almost have come to wish that the operation (brutal, life-changing and long recovery) is found to be impossible.  Which then gives a 1 year, at best, life expectancy.

I'm finding it hard to be positive, but the strain between us (irritability etc) is becoming unbearable.

Just putting this on screen is hard, and I hope that someone, somewhere has a few words of comfort and advice. 

 

 

 

 

 

Parents
  • Hi primrose,  I understand where you are with all this going on .I just wanted to say there might be a possibility of a red Cross hostel or a hospital hotel both of which are excellent in price minimal. We have this where I am in the North East.Generally used by folk from the Islands coming over for surgery.  I had thought Macmillan were only Scotland , & your equivalent were Marie Currie. Ask in the hospital reception or nurses may advise. Take care thinking of you both pip

  • Thanks for the suggestion:  I have been told that there is a hostel close to the hospital, so I shall follow it up.  I can't do anything definite until I get some firm dates to work with, but if I have the information in principle, that will be a weight off my mind.

    pr1mr0se

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  • Hi  sorry to hear that your husband is having trouble, hospital transport is through your GP surgery. They take you to clinics ect. I would have a word with the Macmillan nurses to give you a idea of the help available in your area. There's probably more than you realise, the surgery is a good place to start there's lots of leaflets ect. 
    Staying near the hospital for your husband's treatment is a good idea, the cost can be not much more than travelling around. My sister in law takes her caravan with her when she goes for eye treatment in the next county.  They park on a local site so they don't have to go home between her next day appointments. 
    Its well worth being well informed before you need it, we all feel better feeling we are prepared. 
    Do keep talking to us as it helps to share your worries. 
    take care of yourself. 
    susie
     

Reply
  • Hi  sorry to hear that your husband is having trouble, hospital transport is through your GP surgery. They take you to clinics ect. I would have a word with the Macmillan nurses to give you a idea of the help available in your area. There's probably more than you realise, the surgery is a good place to start there's lots of leaflets ect. 
    Staying near the hospital for your husband's treatment is a good idea, the cost can be not much more than travelling around. My sister in law takes her caravan with her when she goes for eye treatment in the next county.  They park on a local site so they don't have to go home between her next day appointments. 
    Its well worth being well informed before you need it, we all feel better feeling we are prepared. 
    Do keep talking to us as it helps to share your worries. 
    take care of yourself. 
    susie
     

Children
  • I'm sorry not to have replied to your kind post sooner.  I ought to have bookmarked the site of this forum, and forgot.

    Lots of tests etc still in the pipeline, and I am in the process of checking out the suggestions re hospital transport etc.  

    Things will sort themselves out no doubt.  I try to keep as cheerful as possible - and at least at this time of year there is much to enjoy, with all the spring flowers, the lanes full of primroses, the hedgerows getting greener by the day.  Small incremental changes that raise my spirits.

    Pr1mr0se

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