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the future looks bleak

pr1mr0se
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I am new to this forum.  My husband, aged 76, has been diagnosed with cancer of the stomach and oesophagus.  Thus far he has had CT scan Endoscopy, gastroscopy, and PET scan.  A lesion on the liver was probably not malignant, but further tests (MRI and laparoscopy) will be carried out.  In addition, heart and lung resilience has been found to be OK, but overall fitness has yet to be assessed.


I am supporting him every step of the way, but we live in mid Devon, and some of the tests and the operation if it is deemed to be ok in the light of all the test results, will be in Plymouth - many miles away.  To support him, I would have to stay at a hotel, since travelling back and forth each day is not viable.

I am finding it all overwhelming.  In many ways (and I feel so guilty expressing this) I almost have come to wish that the operation (brutal, life-changing and long recovery) is found to be impossible.  Which then gives a 1 year, at best, life expectancy.

I'm finding it hard to be positive, but the strain between us (irritability etc) is becoming unbearable.

Just putting this on screen is hard, and I hope that someone, somewhere has a few words of comfort and advice. 

 

 

 

 

 

Parents
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    Hi it must be so difficult for you both it does make you wonder sometimes what you've done to deserve this especially later in life its so cruel ,but its good to hear you are supporting him every step of the way what would he do without you ,a lady on here stayed in a flat near the hospital whilst her her husband was being treated as it was a long trip for her and very costly in a taxi ,fortunately they are both back at home now but it does look like you might have to do something similar whilst your husband has his treatment whatever it may be ,it can be done they are an elderly couple as well ,as someone has suggested it might be good to contact Mcmillans they are apparently very helpful ,whatever happens I wish you both well there's always someone freindly on here to give advice every day so I would just take each day as it comes and ask Macmillans for some help and advice as you need it Best Wishes Jenny .

  • Offline in reply to Jenny3109

    Thank you Jenny for your reply.  I take on board the fact the I am not alone, and my problems in part or in full have been experienced by so many others.

    Having made contact on this forum I feel less alone, and am grateful for the responses.  

    Next week will be busy again - consultation on Wednesday (but on-line rather than a trip to Plymouth, thank goodness) and MRI scan next Friday.

    Your advice is sound:  I shall try to take it all a day at a time, and not look too far ahead if I can.

    x

    pr1mr0se

     

     

     

     

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  • Offline in reply to Jenny3109

    Thank you Jenny for your reply.  I take on board the fact the I am not alone, and my problems in part or in full have been experienced by so many others.

    Having made contact on this forum I feel less alone, and am grateful for the responses.  

    Next week will be busy again - consultation on Wednesday (but on-line rather than a trip to Plymouth, thank goodness) and MRI scan next Friday.

    Your advice is sound:  I shall try to take it all a day at a time, and not look too far ahead if I can.

    x

    pr1mr0se

     

     

     

     

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