How do you watch someone you love deteriorate?

My dad has recently been diagnosed with incurable cancer. Only weeks ago he was a healthy, active, regular man.

In such a short space of time, this cruel disease has ravaged his body.

He now lies in a hospital bed in pain, and is getting weaker day by day. He cannot move, as the pain from his bones echoes throughout his whole body. He cannot hold a conversation without becoming breathless. He lookes older and older with each passing day, whilst getting weaker and weaker.

My question is, mentally, how do you deal with this?

I am really struggling at the moment to watch the man who has always been my rock, waste away in front of my eyes. My heart physically aches when I see him. I have to fight back the tears in my eyes whenever I visit, and I just cannot accept that this is happening. The pain that I feel is like no other, and I know this is only the beginning. I don't know how i'm going to cope mentally throughout this process, but I need to stay strong for my mom and my family. I am scared that I am not going to be strong enough, when all I want to do is run away and hide, and pretend this isn't happening. Instead I am being forced to watch my biggest fear in this world unfold in front of my very eyes, and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

I feel immense guilt, as I WANT to see my dad, but I am also DREADING seeing him each time I do. 

Does anyone else feel like this? Am I being selfish?

xxx

 

Parents
  • I'm so sorry about your dad's deterioration.  It is so very hard to see our loved ones this way.

    My mum has suffered with personality changes and at times this has been very hard.  She has shared with me information that has left me emotional and at breaking point.  I understand completely when you say you want to see your dad and then you don't.  At one point I had anxiety if there was a text/email/call because I didn't know what was next.  You are not being selfish, you are trying to make sense of this terrible time.  

Reply
  • I'm so sorry about your dad's deterioration.  It is so very hard to see our loved ones this way.

    My mum has suffered with personality changes and at times this has been very hard.  She has shared with me information that has left me emotional and at breaking point.  I understand completely when you say you want to see your dad and then you don't.  At one point I had anxiety if there was a text/email/call because I didn't know what was next.  You are not being selfish, you are trying to make sense of this terrible time.  

Children
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