Charlie I am so sorry to read this. Il try to help as best I possibly can. I lost my partner just under a year ago (covid) so am going by memory, has your mum already got a funeral plan pre paid in place? If not then you will need to have a think about what funeral directors you would like to use, I found co op are quite expensive. Funeral directors will have a catalogue with things like coffins, if you would like to visit mum in the chapel of rest then it will be an extra charge because of embalming, the hearse and following funeral cars are also quite an expense (I declined them). I went to a family friend for the flowers as she’s a florist but most florists do funeral arrangements. As for paperwork it is very in depth but do able, you will be better off having multiple death certificates printed which do come at a cost but you will need them. There is a service on the gov website which is incredibly useful and takes a lot of pressure off you, it is called the tell us once service which you might get told about by the registrar after registering you’re mums death (I’m sorry!) you will need to give people like the bank a death certificate and show them forms of ID which they will photocopy (I apologise if I have any of this muddled), I transferred our joint savings into my separate account so the bank did not pocket it (bear this in mind). If you mum has any loans/debts then they will ask for a death certificate which won’t be be sent back you (I think I purchased about 10-15). Has your mum got any premium bonds? Have you got all passwords/pins to any accounts because it will make things easier for you. The funeral director can help you with your order of service card if you would like them for the funeral. I lost my grandfather 2 months before my partner and we asked to place a flower on top of the coffin after the main service (immediate family). I took our little elderly dog to my partners funeral with permission.

Have a think what you would like people to do after the funeral i.e flowers/no flowers or donate to a charity etc. We didn’t have a wake for my partner as numbers are currently limited but I went for a socially distanced picnic with his parents and siblings which felt fitting - we will have a celebration of his life with family later on. 

After my partner went, we had an impression of his finger print which i now wear on a bracelet. We also had locks of his hair cut which I will be having encased inside a locket with a photo (around £300). I might have some of his handwriting inscripted onto the locket as it can be done - just thoughts for you too.

For now just enjoy the truly precious time with your mum, it’s surprising how much comfort a simple hold of the hand can bring. My most heartfelt thoughts are with you both now & in the coming months and please come back if you would like to chat or need any further help. x

p.s I’m only just in my 30s, it’s not easy, this part of life but we’re stronger than we realise (I promise!), cancer has and still is affecting my family in very devestating huge ways (lots of loss, small time) il be here if you would like to chat x

Charlie I am so sorry to read this. Il try to help as best I possibly can. I lost my partner just under a year ago (covid) so am going by memory, has your mum already got a funeral plan pre paid in place? If not then you will need to have a think about what funeral directors you would like to use, I found co op are quite expensive. Funeral directors will have a catalogue with things like coffins, if you would like to visit mum in the chapel of rest then it will be an extra charge because of embalming, the hearse and following funeral cars are also quite an expense (I declined them). I went to a family friend for the flowers as she’s a florist but most florists do funeral arrangements. As for paperwork it is very in depth but do able, you will be better off having multiple death certificates printed which do come at a cost but you will need them. There is a service on the gov website which is incredibly useful and takes a lot of pressure off you, it is called the tell us once service which you might get told about by the registrar after registering you’re mums death (I’m sorry!) you will need to give people like the bank a death certificate and show them forms of ID which they will photocopy (I apologise if I have any of this muddled), I transferred our joint savings into my separate account so the bank did not pocket it (bear this in mind). If you mum has any loans/debts then they will ask for a death certificate which won’t be be sent back you (I think I purchased about 10-15). Has your mum got any premium bonds? Have you got all passwords/pins to any accounts because it will make things easier for you. The funeral director can help you with your order of service card if you would like them for the funeral. I lost my grandfather 2 months before my partner and we asked to place a flower on top of the coffin after the main service (immediate family). I took our little elderly dog to my partners funeral with permission.

Have a think what you would like people to do after the funeral i.e flowers/no flowers or donate to a charity etc. We didn’t have a wake for my partner as numbers are currently limited but I went for a socially distanced picnic with his parents and siblings which felt fitting - we will have a celebration of his life with family later on. 

After my partner went, we had an impression of his finger print which i now wear on a bracelet. We also had locks of his hair cut which I will be having encased inside a locket with a photo (around £300). I might have some of his handwriting inscripted onto the locket as it can be done - just thoughts for you too.

For now just enjoy the truly precious time with your mum, it’s surprising how much comfort a simple hold of the hand can bring. My most heartfelt thoughts are with you both now & in the coming months and please come back if you would like to chat or need any further help. x

p.s I’m only just in my 30s, it’s not easy, this part of life but we’re stronger than we realise (I promise!), cancer has and still is affecting my family in very devestating huge ways (lots of loss, small time) il be here if you would like to chat x