Hi Elizabeth 

my dad sadly passed away on the 15th September from a Brain Tumor, You story is so similar to mine and I feel the same. My two sisters and I along with my mum looked after my dad at home until the Day he passed away.

the last 24 hours of his life was the hardest and darkest hours of my life. He was also on a syringe driver. I had been with him the whole time,, The Nurses came at 8:30 pm and although looking back it was obvious he was in the last stages of his life we did not know,, I will never forget the sound of his breathing,.. 

I decided to quickly pop home to see my two young sons who were in bed and go back to my parents house.. unfortunately my sister text to say quickly come back, I knew by the text he had gone.

I got there and his hand was still warm, I didn't want to let it go.

I cannot begin to describe the devastation that I feel that I wasn't there, I am also so upset that I wasn't there I feel terrible about it everyday. I had cared for him for 3 years and towards the end spent all my time with him.  I wish I didn't go but I can't change it. He told me two days before he passed away that I will need too be strong,, I like to think that he knew I wouldn't be able to cope with seeing him take his last breath so waited for me to leave. He was only 63 with three daughters and 5 grandsons, I haven't been able to grieve properly as was diagnosed with breast cancer a week after his funeral.

I really need him here now not to have him is the worst.

I wish you strength and courage and I am so sorry for your loss, xxx

Hi Snow-Drop,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and share your story, especially with everything you are going through. 

I am so terribly sorry that you sadly went through such a similar experience to me. It really is so upsetting isn't it. I wish more than anything that I could change it but as you say, sadly we can't. 

I also managed to hold my dad's hand while it was still warm which was a blessing. 

I would hold onto that message he gave you 2 days before he died, that you will need to be strong. People keep telling me that he wanted to spare me seeing him go. I hope in time I learn to accept this as it is a comforting thought. Sadly i'm not yet at that point as I still feel completely devastated and heartbroken that I wasn't there. 

Just like yourself, looking back now, the signs were there that the time was coming but I just didn't realise how soon. 

I only found out that my dad was ill in July so we have been caring for him for 3 months. It sounds like you and your family have done an amazing job caring for your dad for 3 years.

I totally know what you mean, although my dad was peaceful at the end, because he was on the syringe driver, the few days leading up to it were extremely traumatic due to the sound of his breathing, him coughing up blood and being distressed.

I am truly sorry to hear that amongst the trauma of losing your dad, you yourself have been diagnosed with breast cancer. Life can be so cruel. 

You sound a very strong person and I really hope you can fight it.

I wish you strength and courage to fight this disease, for your children and family. 

I am very grateful to you for sharing your story although am so sad to hear you went through the same heartbreaking experience.

Hopefully in time we will both be able to come to terms with it. 

I am so sorry for your loss.

Take care. 

xxx

Hi Snow-Drop,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and share your story, especially with everything you are going through. 

I am so terribly sorry that you sadly went through such a similar experience to me. It really is so upsetting isn't it. I wish more than anything that I could change it but as you say, sadly we can't. 

I also managed to hold my dad's hand while it was still warm which was a blessing. 

I would hold onto that message he gave you 2 days before he died, that you will need to be strong. People keep telling me that he wanted to spare me seeing him go. I hope in time I learn to accept this as it is a comforting thought. Sadly i'm not yet at that point as I still feel completely devastated and heartbroken that I wasn't there. 

Just like yourself, looking back now, the signs were there that the time was coming but I just didn't realise how soon. 

I only found out that my dad was ill in July so we have been caring for him for 3 months. It sounds like you and your family have done an amazing job caring for your dad for 3 years.

I totally know what you mean, although my dad was peaceful at the end, because he was on the syringe driver, the few days leading up to it were extremely traumatic due to the sound of his breathing, him coughing up blood and being distressed.

I am truly sorry to hear that amongst the trauma of losing your dad, you yourself have been diagnosed with breast cancer. Life can be so cruel. 

You sound a very strong person and I really hope you can fight it.

I wish you strength and courage to fight this disease, for your children and family. 

I am very grateful to you for sharing your story although am so sad to hear you went through the same heartbreaking experience.

Hopefully in time we will both be able to come to terms with it. 

I am so sorry for your loss.

Take care. 

xxx