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Just lost my Mum

Rob86
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After over 5 and a half years fighting a original diagnosis or 12 months, my mum tragically passed away around 5am this morning 

She had been fine up until Tuesday when she developed a lung and bowel infection, got admitted on Thursday night. Things then got worse however she showed big improvements the next morning. But then took another bad turn 

I managed to get there along with my sister and she was with it and cracking jokes, not scared and not much pain, knew we were there and told her I loved her.

She then went to sleep and I decided to go home for rest with my wife and dad, my sister then rang 3 hours later to say she had passed away in her sleep 

I've been preparing myself for this day for a long time but I am absolutely devastated, can't stop crying, so angry, sad etc and honestly don't know how ill get over it, I miss her so much already 

Her and my dad have been married 47 years, she was only 70 and myself 34 and my sister 27. No age atall to lose our mum.

I really don't know where to go from here :(

  • Hello Rob

    I just wanted to post on behalf of the whole Cancer Chat team to offer our condolences on the loss of your Mum this morning. It's obviously an incredibly difficult time for you and all the family and I'm so glad that you were able to visit your Mum shortly before she passed away. 

    The coming days, weeks, and months will be a real rollercoaster. I know that's a cliche but there will be dark days and days when things are lighter again. grief is a natural process but it can be devastating. Right now be kind to yourself Rob. Allow yourself to cry and to feel the emotions that wash over you. Take things a day at a time and if that feels too much right now, then an hour at a time. 

    There are many members here on the forum who will understand what you're experiencing and I'm sure that they will post to share their support with you too. Just know that if you reach out then we're here for you. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

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    Hello

    I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss.. 

    I lost my mum 4 years ago and I miss her every day.

    I still cry for her too. 

    She was only 74 it's to young I know..

    But...it does ease. I talk to her nearly every day.. I have photos of her on my wall next to my bed so I know she's near me. 

    Take one day at a time , talk to her often..

    Maybe in time you can have a photo of her close by you too. 

    Condolences to you and your family. 

     

  • Offline

    Hi it does get easier over time but the thoughts come back now and again, just odd things get you thinking of her again I lost my mother over 40years ago,I was not yet 30 ,.

    She'd gone in for a routine hip replacement, she'd had Both done but the bone cracked at base of one pin, they were going to put a longer pin in but someone didn't read notes and she was on blood thinners and she bled to death on the operating table , it was a shock to me and my wife, I wanted to help arrange things with my father as I was only child but he wouldn't let me do anything. .it is very painful like I said jt does get easier over the years but never completely goes . make sure you have some keepsakes I got nothing my father kept everything, apart from odd things he gave to my step sister from a previous marriage .

    Take care.

    And commiserations .

    Billy

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    I lost my mum last night she was in so much pain in the morning but the district nurses settled her and went peacefully in her sleep my heart is aching she lived here with me and the house don't seem the same I've cryed so much and I feel drained and empty she's not in pain now but I want her back again x

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Jenn

    Thankyou for the replies

    Yesterday was like a bad dream and unfortunately I woke today realising it wasn't a dream 

    I just feel empty and full of regret that I didn't do more with her or tell her I love her enough and always worrying about her condition rather than appreciating the time I had, it's so hard and I just can't stop feeling these negative thoughts 

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