Hi Moonlight99,

I've not posted on any of these forums before, but I've been searching and reading a lot on them.

I've just read your post and thought I'd reply. I'm so so sorry about your Dad and I can only imagine the absolute pain and devastation you're going through. My Dad has terminal cancer and like you, my Dad has been both my Mum and my Dad my whole life. My Mum left when I was a baby, so my Dad brought me up. So when he dies, it'll be like losing both parents at once, and it's devastating. So I understand how you are feeling. A lot of people come from one parent families through different circumstances. But even people who have both parents and lose one, it's still traumatic.

My Dad was diagnosed with cancer at the end of June this year and was told he has 6 months or less left to live. I've dreaded this my whole life. I know it's natural for your parents to die, but it's still just ****. And I wasn't expecting him to be told he had a short time to live as he only had symptoms for a couple of months so I thought they'd be able to treat him. So it's been a shock for both my Dad and I.

I know you might feel very alone right now, but you're not. I know you don't know me, or anyone on these forums, but please talk on this whenever you need to, about anything you need to. I've said I won't be able to cope when my Dad dies, and I don't know how I will... But I'll just have to. I know my Dad would want me to get on with my life...he's told me this already. I talk to my Dad about anything and everything. And we've talked about him dying. He has said to me that when he dies, it will get easier for me in time, as it does for everyone. He's experienced a lot of loved ones dying and has said the hurt will ease in time, and yours will too. It's still very very early since you lost your Dad.. It's still raw. But you will be OK and learn to cope. If I think (hope) I will be OK, then you will be too.

Do you have any siblings? I don't. If you do, I hope you can help each other.

But please don't feel alone

Xx

I hope it's ok to post a reply here, there aren't many chats (that I can find), but my dad passed away 2 weeks ago yesterday, of heart failure, so not cancer. He too was my dad and mother in one. I've been told it's like riding a wave, you're ok then you're very much not. I have a two year old so when she isn't at nursery, I have to be okay, and I know my dad would hate to think I'm upset in front of her. But I'm then feeling guilty when I've been ok. I'm crying writing this so I know my tears are there, I cry when I'm on my own driving. 
 

I think recognising you're not depressed but extremely sad is really strong of you. The first week I felt so out of control that I chose not to eat properly, just so I could control that, but again i keep thinking what dad would think and it snapped me out of that, plus I have to for my girl. 
 

I think friends don't know what to say, especially if they've not experienced it. I find in wanting information from friends that have lost their dads, in a horrible way I think it might be comforting, but then I'm aware I don't want to bring up their pain. I've had someone I thought was a good friend, only saw 3 days before my dad passed away, telling her how my dad was doing but how I hoped he'd move in with me and my family when he came out (of hospital) and I've not had a single message from her. I feel hurt but then I think that hurt is nothing compared to what I'm feeling for my dad. 
please know you can post on here, it's not the same but chat about what you're feeling or share memories, I'm lonely despite having a partner and child. Not having a mum (she left my dad over ten years ago and her and I don't speak, I sided at the time with my dad as he's so lovely), then losing your dad is such a lonely experience and I know I'd like to find people to chat to. Even if it's about the confusion of what you're feeling (mine is the guilt of when I'm ok, having had to sing a toddler rhyme!) I'll be here to chat, even if that's a lot of sharing my own story, as I realise I have, 

I hope it's ok to post a reply here, there aren't many chats (that I can find), but my dad passed away 2 weeks ago yesterday, of heart failure, so not cancer. He too was my dad and mother in one. I've been told it's like riding a wave, you're ok then you're very much not. I have a two year old so when she isn't at nursery, I have to be okay, and I know my dad would hate to think I'm upset in front of her. But I'm then feeling guilty when I've been ok. I'm crying writing this so I know my tears are there, I cry when I'm on my own driving. 
 

I think recognising you're not depressed but extremely sad is really strong of you. The first week I felt so out of control that I chose not to eat properly, just so I could control that, but again i keep thinking what dad would think and it snapped me out of that, plus I have to for my girl. 
 

I think friends don't know what to say, especially if they've not experienced it. I find in wanting information from friends that have lost their dads, in a horrible way I think it might be comforting, but then I'm aware I don't want to bring up their pain. I've had someone I thought was a good friend, only saw 3 days before my dad passed away, telling her how my dad was doing but how I hoped he'd move in with me and my family when he came out (of hospital) and I've not had a single message from her. I feel hurt but then I think that hurt is nothing compared to what I'm feeling for my dad. 
please know you can post on here, it's not the same but chat about what you're feeling or share memories, I'm lonely despite having a partner and child. Not having a mum (she left my dad over ten years ago and her and I don't speak, I sided at the time with my dad as he's so lovely), then losing your dad is such a lonely experience and I know I'd like to find people to chat to. Even if it's about the confusion of what you're feeling (mine is the guilt of when I'm ok, having had to sing a toddler rhyme!) I'll be here to chat, even if that's a lot of sharing my own story, as I realise I have,