Unable to accept what has happened

My husband, Ian, died just over 4 weeks ago. It was very sudden and unexpected. Seven weeks previously we had a cancer diagnosis and were told a year with chemo. He never had the time for chemo as two weeks later a brain tumour was discovered and so the chemo was put off so he could have radiotherapy. The latter really wiped Ian out but he battled on as best he could so that he could have the chemo. This was not to be and I just can't accept he has gone.

His funeral was a week ago and I've since caught Covid and am self isolating. I cry every night and day but still, nothing seems real. If he walked back in I wouldn't be surprised!

I can function relatively normally and have applied for probate etc but I just feel numb inside. Can I still be in shock after 4 weeks or is it grief? 

 

 

Parents
  • Hi Trixie1 sorry to tell you my dear girl but you will be in shock for some time. Then grief will come then why me? Anger rage loneliness . All this is normal ,people will say it gets better it does but you won't believe it yet.Time is a great healer, people on these sites can help you get through it.I lost my husband in May 2020 after 53 years of marriage. I wanted too die I couldn't bear to face life without him. He was ill for 5 years with lots of different illnesses and died with 5 of his organs giving in. He had dementia for 8 month before that it broke my heart but he still knew me and told me he loved me every day.You will be stronger than you think take every day at a time talk to him thump a pillow and shout it all helps. Sorting things out is quite daunting but has to be done you will have a list . Keep on the forum plenty will guide you.Take comfort from friends and family.Get a tee shirt or sweatshirt of Ian's and put some after shave loistion on it and cuddle it in bed. Take care my dear girl and post me anytime big hugs xx

     

     

Reply
  • Hi Trixie1 sorry to tell you my dear girl but you will be in shock for some time. Then grief will come then why me? Anger rage loneliness . All this is normal ,people will say it gets better it does but you won't believe it yet.Time is a great healer, people on these sites can help you get through it.I lost my husband in May 2020 after 53 years of marriage. I wanted too die I couldn't bear to face life without him. He was ill for 5 years with lots of different illnesses and died with 5 of his organs giving in. He had dementia for 8 month before that it broke my heart but he still knew me and told me he loved me every day.You will be stronger than you think take every day at a time talk to him thump a pillow and shout it all helps. Sorting things out is quite daunting but has to be done you will have a list . Keep on the forum plenty will guide you.Take comfort from friends and family.Get a tee shirt or sweatshirt of Ian's and put some after shave loistion on it and cuddle it in bed. Take care my dear girl and post me anytime big hugs xx

     

     

Children
  • Thank you to everyone who has replied to my posts.

    It does help to know that I am not alone and  that everyone grieves in different ways.

    I am still in self isolation as I caught Covid from a family member. Luckily my symptoms are mild and I can't wait to be 'out' and able to visit Ian's favourite river walk.

     

    Take care everyone and stay safe.....