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Unable to accept what has happened

Trixie1
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My husband, Ian, died just over 4 weeks ago. It was very sudden and unexpected. Seven weeks previously we had a cancer diagnosis and were told a year with chemo. He never had the time for chemo as two weeks later a brain tumour was discovered and so the chemo was put off so he could have radiotherapy. The latter really wiped Ian out but he battled on as best he could so that he could have the chemo. This was not to be and I just can't accept he has gone.

His funeral was a week ago and I've since caught Covid and am self isolating. I cry every night and day but still, nothing seems real. If he walked back in I wouldn't be surprised!

I can function relatively normally and have applied for probate etc but I just feel numb inside. Can I still be in shock after 4 weeks or is it grief? 

 

 

Parents
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    Hello [@Trixie1]‍ 

    Firstly, I am very sorry to hear about your husband - it's just a terrible thing. My mum died from pancreatic cancer in April after an 'out-of-the-blue' diagnosis in March, so I know what you are going through. I think you probably are still in shock and a month is nothing. It's very tough to cope when cancer kills so quickly. I was in completely shock when my mum was diagnosed, and that shock stayed with me for about 2 months after her death. One of the worst parts was definitely the funeral - it was surreal and overwhelming - it felt like it was someone else and not my mum - how could it be?

    There is no time limit on how long you will grieve, and the stages you will go through - we are all different.

    I still struggle tremendously.

     

    Take care.

     

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    Hello [@Trixie1]‍ 

    Firstly, I am very sorry to hear about your husband - it's just a terrible thing. My mum died from pancreatic cancer in April after an 'out-of-the-blue' diagnosis in March, so I know what you are going through. I think you probably are still in shock and a month is nothing. It's very tough to cope when cancer kills so quickly. I was in completely shock when my mum was diagnosed, and that shock stayed with me for about 2 months after her death. One of the worst parts was definitely the funeral - it was surreal and overwhelming - it felt like it was someone else and not my mum - how could it be?

    There is no time limit on how long you will grieve, and the stages you will go through - we are all different.

    I still struggle tremendously.

     

    Take care.

     

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