I lost my mum suddenly in September and I can relate a lot to what you're saying. Having to chose who could come to the funeral for a young woman (she had just turned 50 when she died) was awful. I too felt pressured into going back to work and did after 7 weeks but in all honestly it was too soon and I'm still really struggling, I can't say I feel any better but somehow I function better and mange to get through the motions of the day. I miss her every single day and my heart literally breaks every day. I wish I could remember the good times but I just relive the day she died. I hope you find some peace in time. 

I lost my mum suddenly in September and I can relate a lot to what you're saying. Having to chose who could come to the funeral for a young woman (she had just turned 50 when she died) was awful. I too felt pressured into going back to work and did after 7 weeks but in all honestly it was too soon and I'm still really struggling, I can't say I feel any better but somehow I function better and mange to get through the motions of the day. I miss her every single day and my heart literally breaks every day. I wish I could remember the good times but I just relive the day she died. I hope you find some peace in time.