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Lost my mum. Cant bare to carry on

Bellgirl1976
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My mum got her diagnoses before Christmas she needed a biopsy on 12th Jan.  I called an ambulance on 4th Jan she passed on the 10th.  All too quick body riddled with cancer. Due to covid not picked up.

Im angry and im so sad . She is my best friend . I have no family of my own..im 44. it seems to be getting worse. I am in such shock.... such pain.  Had covid funeral no wake on my own... people are asking are you not back to work... ive been off 2 1/2 weeks... i can barely post this... i have a job that you need to be on the ball for and right now making a cup of tea is difficult.

Tell me it gets better. I dont think i can do this 1 more day. 

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    So sorry to hear about your mum.  I lost my dad within 2 months of cancer diagnosis.  It's too painful to mention and you do go through different stages. My first was anger, angry at everyone and everything. I didn't want to go back to work but I did, and after the first day I was glad I did as I wasn't thinking about dad 24/7.  I went from anger, to devastated again, you know it does leave an empty space in your heart, I think I laughed for the first time (not smiled) like really laughed 9 years later.

    I speak to him often throughout my week, mainly to tell him I miss him, or morning and goodnight.  I don't believe you get over losing a parent you loved so much, you just eventually learn to cope.

    AND you will cope, it does get easier so don't be so hard on yourself. You can do it and you will :)  

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    So sorry to hear about your mum.  I lost my dad within 2 months of cancer diagnosis.  It's too painful to mention and you do go through different stages. My first was anger, angry at everyone and everything. I didn't want to go back to work but I did, and after the first day I was glad I did as I wasn't thinking about dad 24/7.  I went from anger, to devastated again, you know it does leave an empty space in your heart, I think I laughed for the first time (not smiled) like really laughed 9 years later.

    I speak to him often throughout my week, mainly to tell him I miss him, or morning and goodnight.  I don't believe you get over losing a parent you loved so much, you just eventually learn to cope.

    AND you will cope, it does get easier so don't be so hard on yourself. You can do it and you will :)  

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