Hi Stu

You have my deepest sympathy and I know what you're going through. My lovely wife passed away in June 2018 and I'm on the same path as you. You're right about the music because it takes you back to all the lovely times you had. Try and get some counselling if you can, I did find it helpful and accept any help you can find.

Please remember that grief is not forever. But love is.

Tears are the silent language of grief. I know how tough it is and please stay strong. Chris 

I can't begin to imagine how difficult this journey must be for you Carmarthenshire but as you've seen on this discussion, you are not alone and support is available.

As you've said, the pandemic has made things a lot more challenging but if you feel you need to talk to someone you could do what Longcliffe and Stu02 have done and look in to bereavement counselling. Two charities which provide this are Cruse Bereavement Care and Sue Ryder, with the latter offering free online video chat counselling. To find out more just click here.

The long winter nights can be very tough if you're on your own but the Samartians are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on 116 123 if you find yourself needing to talk when no-one else is around. They are there to listen and will do all they can to support you. 

In the meantime, try to take things a day at a time and be kind to yourself. 

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Tbh don’t think I’ll ever be the same again I have appointment in January to see Bereavment counciler I think am going insane sometimes when I go town or shopping if I see someone who looks similar from the back I have to double check it’s not her I no it’s not but I just have to check I found some old vhs recordedings one was of Xmas 29 years ago Xmas morning with the two boys age 4 and 1 don’t think I’ve ever cryd that much and one of uss when we were young with our blue and gold macaw parrot who used to fly to us soon as we walked in happy day I suppose am lucky to be here I’ve had many many heart attack’s 4 stents and have a defibrillator in my chest was 52 last week and I go for biopsy on my throat Wednesday dr said don’t look good but fingers crossed 

shopping if I see someone who looks similar from the back I have to double check it’s not her I no it’s not but I just have to check I found some old vhs recordedings one was of Xmas 29 years ago Xmas morning with the two boys age 4 and 1 don’t think I’ve ever cryd that much and one of uss when we were young with our blue and gold macaw parrot who used to fly to us soon as we walked in happy day I suppose am lucky to be here I’ve had many many heart attack’s 4 stents and have a defibrillator in my chest was 52 last week and I go for biopsy on my throat Wednesday dr said don’t look good but fingers crossed 

It’s definitely not worth giving up believe me after my loss I tryed to hang myself 3 times and I suddenly realised that some one would have to find me and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone and what would my sons think it’s the ppl we leave behind that after suffer and I miss  my Louise so much I now she would be so disappointed in me if she new so I wouldn’t take my own life and you have to carry on one day at a time I don’t no what else to say except god bless you 

Ya no it feel s like like am the only one going through this am sure you feel the same it’s only after hearing from others that you realise that your not alone and I find it hard to speak to ppl as I don’t wanna make ppl feel down but it’s so very sad that everyone eventually will loose the ppl they love and it’s jyst so unfair was my birthday on 17 th went out with my lad and five of his mates  but few them are like sons to me and they allways tell me if not for me and my mrs god bless her they don’t think they would be the persons they are today  as we sorta looked after are kids friends when there parents weren’t there for them and even type in this makes me cry Xmas is a time when my feelings get the better of me I always think if tears could make a staircase ide cry my way to heaven and her bake again oh dear merry Xmas for what it’s worth 

Just a quick one you haven’t been alone over Xmas have you not good to be alone that’s when everything turns to mega sht hope ur ok and enjoying what you can 

Thank you, no haven't been alone, but it was a tough day. By the night felt exhausted. But got through the day. Day at a time. You look after yourself.