I can't say it'll get easier because I don't believe that it does, and it's hard not to think selfishly in these times but you and your dad need each other, don't be sorry for expressing your feelings, sometimes it's nice to get it off your chest. The pain you felt the moment you lost her, the pain you feel now will never fade, you'll feel that pain constantly, but in time you'll also be able to talk about your mum and smile, you'll bring her up in conversations and say "this is what my mum used to do" and you'll remember her, who she was, you'll go home and think of that moment again, and cry that it's not something you'll ever get back. But in the years you'll be able to think of her and smile, not just cry. It's important to feel all of our emotions and not bottle it up, you've done the right thing coming on here and talking about it. I hope this doesn't upset you more, you need this time to grieve your mum, and it will take as long as you need. It doesn't get easier, but I promise one day you'll think back to your memories with her and smile Xx

> I just can't deal with life anymore without my Mum.

Same

> I miss her so much I'm in physical pain

Same

> I can't accept or cope with the fact that I'll never talk to her or hug her again.

Same

> She was my whole world

Same

> and I honestly feel like I died when she died.

Same

> It's been about 10 weeks since we lost her and every day is worse than the one before.

Same

> I just want to go and be with her in heaven

Same

>  I feel like I'm done with life because I'll never ever be happy again.

Same

> I'm in so much pain and I just want her back so badly.

Same

> so unbelievably lost, lonely and heartbroken

Same

I feel the same, too, temp and rach.

I also lost my dad about a year before I lost my mom. So finding it very hard to see the point in clinging to this life.

Hi rachWBA,

I'm so sorry for your loss, it is heartbreaking to read your post.

My beautiful mum died in September 2018 from blood cancer and there isn't a day I don't think about her. I'm much older than you at 56 but ages don't matter, I understand a little of what you are going through. As others have said and it's an odd thing to say, my experience is that you have to go through the grief and it does bring you literally to your knees.

I'm not sure if anyone can say anything that will make you feel less sad at this time; it's only a very short time-10 weeks.

Your love for your dear mum comes through so strongly and your care for your dad, I found that you take on the grief of other family members; worrying about them.

May be worth chatting to your GP over the phone, mine was lovely, I also took Lavender tablets to try and help sleep. Although you may not feel like it, try and eat regularly , drink plenty water and if possible, walks in uncrowded places. I have pictures of mum around the house and I talk out loud to her, silly but helps me.

I try and think what my mum would say to me; she would put her arms around me and tell me not to worry, she embraced life before her diagnosis but also after, I try and be as strong as she was.

I guess I wanted to say that you won't feel it now but I promise it does get easier , you will find the strength to go on. A lovely lady on here says, we carry our mums safely in our hearts now, it is hard but our mums wouldn't want us to carry our sadness forever. My mum is looking down on me, dad and all the family, I think that's what mum's do, we may not be able to hold them in this life but I believe their spirits never leave us.

Thinking of you and hope you will be ok.

I always recall these words:-

The river of grief is deep and wide

but happiness awaits you on the other side

and the love of those around you, will take you there

Thinking of you,

Linda

x

@Paulus -- thank you so much. Your reply really helps. You are a gift to this forum.

@Linda63 -- you made me tear up, but in a good way. I know it was a reply to the OP, but lovely post. Ty <3

Thank you realy its ment for everyone realy but my best wishs to its truely a horrible thing cancer i had to wait a month for results i didnt but they are still monitering me i ended up in hospital for 8 days with sepsisis then scalded myself 4 percent burns then anothere 8 days with a massive infection i have crohns turned out i had to have massive op to cut part of my bowle away and repair my bladder .i sat there waiting for pain block in my back and i thought i want to live but i may not wake up so i realise now how important life is and nothing is so bad that we want to die but i felt same when i lost liz so understand a bit now .regards paul