Dear Jacqueline,

I have just read your post and it made me feel very sad as you have had a lot to deal with over these past months, you and your husband sounded like a dream team and l can tell you love him dearly and always will, time is a great healer but for now it is still very raw, no one can take your memories away think of your happy times and not the very sad end, there will be a light xxx

Hi Jacqueline I’m so sorry for your loss , I’m struggling too coming to the terms of the loss of my husband. He also had lung cancer , he was fit and healthy 54yrs old had a cough in May 219 and by the time they diagnosed it was lung cancer and decided to give him treatment he passed away September 2019 4days after chemo with pneumonia. I have two children age 19 and 16 we just trying to get on with life but like probably it all just comes back to me what happened that day and all the other horrible days from finding out they have cancer.  You always think that it’s not going to happen to you . Keep strong xx

Hi Victoria

thank you for your reply. Our stories are indeed very similar and just as heartbreaking.

i find that all though I do have friends and family they do not understand the complete devastation that you feel because their lives continue as they were but your own has changed completely.

my husband was everything to me since I was 16 years old. I'm trying to be strong and I exist ever day but it's so very hard.  I've reached out on this site in the hope that speaking to someone who knows how it feels it will help 

Hi Khanna

thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. Some days I can cope with the loss and other days i can not.

your words are very kind and I shall try to not focus on the end so much.

x

Hi Jacqueline,

It was a pleasure to reply to your post we all need someone to vent too.

Sadly my partner was diagnosed with lung cancer and chronic lymphocytic leukemia in October and just started radiotherapy mid December but had to stop as it caused his heart to beat too fast and ended up with a pacemaker and came home Xmas day, we are hoping to restart radiotherapy soon, the whole situation is terrifying and find ourselves living in a bubble of hospitals and doctors.

If you ever want a chat just message me xx

Hi Jacqueline

yes true no one can really understand but people have that gone through this like us do .  I worry about my friends and family thinking what they are dealing with and I try and stay happy on the outside for them but I know they get upset too.  It’s a real difficult one to keep smiling .  I have a puppy and she had been amazing for me, she gives me so much love and a new world as have never had a dog before but I now have the time for her . Nice to hear from you too xxx

So sorry to hear of your loss I also lost my soul mate of 21 years on 22 Nov last year from lung cancer it sounds like you and your husband are near same ages  x my partner did not know he had this and passed away at home due to heavy vomiting of blood I was at work he had been to the go on the Tuesday with what we are aware of now are signs passed away on the Friday

Like you my emotions are to raw to offer much advice just trying to take one day at a time  but  I'm struggling I'm am off work at min but will be looking for counseling 

Like you I feel hollow and incomplete if you ever want to message me please do x

Hi Lisa

Thank you for replying to my post.

Our stories do sound very similar and I am so sorry for your loss.  I posted on here in the hope of speaking to someone who knows how it feels to go through what we had to go through and feel the loss that we sadly have to face.

I have found that I can talk to people ( which does help) but they will not really know or begin to understand how cancer has taken our future.

I have started counselling myself, my 2nd one is this evening.  I'm not sure if it will help me at all? The first 1 hour session goes very quickly and you spend it explaining what has happened. I'll see what tongihts will do but I hope it does help me.

I have a 29 year old son who has his own home with his girlfriend so no longer lives with me.  I also have two dogs, which have made me get up and go out, without them there are deffinately days that I could keep my curtains closed and not be part of the world. So, for that Im grateful that I have them.

I also run my own company, so I have also had to deal with the day to day running of that and staff. So, again its putting a brave face on things when really I'm so so lossed.  

Mostly, I'm finding the time on my own is my own worst enemy.  I feel so sad, lonely and feel that I have no life.  My future life was supposed to be me and my husband and taking walks on the beach together.  We were both still quite young and should have had another 25 years together but that has all gone now.

I don't know if what I am saying is the same as you feel but if you just need to chat to someone who truly understand what this is we are going through then please dont hesitate to message me.

I hope your counselling session helps xx

Hi Khana,

Im pleased that you have your husband at home with you and that he came home on christmas day. I understand the fear that you must have and living by hospital to hospital appointment is draining and sad that you have to.

There is hope though for you both and my fingers are crossed for a possability that he can re start his treatment soon and that there will be a posative out come.

Hi

I come on here looking for advice also and after looking for pointers in emails the reason it’s heart breaking is you loved each other so much and your other half has been recalled to help upstairs and it will leave a big space beside you feeling empty / lost as you were a team and it hurts cos you cared and definitely go to counseling to talk , and it’s only my opinion and I certainly don’t want to hurt or offend anyone .

My problem as going to the Doctors tomorrow with my Uncle who already has Parkinson’s and since Nov till Jan he has deteriorated quite a bit and after visits to the hospital he has discovered Metastic cancer and he has lost his speech not completely but very faint have to be standing very close next to him to hear and I’m dreading the Doctors tomorrow.

Any thing I should be asking or wanting to know 

Thank you 

And good luck to everyone