Hi there ...

So so sorry your going through this heartbraking time... it's never easy, no mater what their age ... but you know l lost my mum suddenly from a heart attack and had no chance to even say those things like I was so proud to be her daughter.... or hold her one more time ...

You still can tell your dad all that's in your heart ... you can hold his hand ... listen to what he needs to say too ... l would give anything, even for one hour with my mum ... 

Don't try to be strong ... men used to think they had to be brave ... now they don't ... men hurt as much as us women do ... even more when they try to hold it all in ... you know it's o.k to share tears with your dad and sisters ... your not super man, just a man who's heart is braking....

If you can share all those feelings, you will all walk this last path with your dad ... your probly all scared .. it's o.k to say those words ... holding feelings in, builds inside till it overwhelmes you ... just take one step, at a time ... don't look ahead .. live in the now .. keep talking to him .. hearing stays even when other senses go ... hold his hand ... that's what I'd want if this cancer takes me ... my son's hand to hold ...

Sending you a vertual hug....  Chrissie xx

Hi

i am so sorry to hear about your dad. I am touched by your story, I too feel very sad, and alone at times  

My dad went to the dentist in Jan, three weeks later got a diagnosis of terminal cancer and given 3-6 months to live. He too was rarely sick but is older than your dad - in his eighties. 

It’s been a very strange time with unfamiliar strong feelings, including feeling useless and heartbroken.

You ask what you can say. I suppose I’ve tried to say what’s been in my heart in a way that I think my dad can relate to. We are very different. I’ve tried to respect his choices about how much or not he wants to talk about his condition, the time he has left and dying. We’ve carried on talking about the things that he’s interested in and doing the things that are important to him - bbq  on first sunny day even though he couldn’t come outside or eat anything, planting tomatoes and mowing the lawn  In amongst all that occasionally we talk about his situation and I tell him how much I love him and that I hate that he is dying, too soon, when he has much he’s still like to do  How unfair it is and how sorry I am  

Although i wouldn’t  wish this experience on anyone I’ve had some really lovely times and moments with him. I think we’ve felt very close just sitting together - earlier this week we were watching the snooker. 

I have siblings who are all managing very differently  Our relationships have become closer and we try respect our different ways of being with Dad and different views of his choices around treatment  and  now about his care 

I hope some of this is helpful.  I would say that feeling and expressing your feelings including of feeling not being able to cope are vital in being strong for yourself, your dad and others in your family. The more you can feel your feelings, express them in your way and let them go the more you might be able to ride the roller coaster of this time and not crash. 

Its been a really hard time and still is. Do try and look after yourself as well as you can. 

You and your dad will be in my thoughts. Take care 

Thank you for your comments . They do help , just to know other have come out the other side of this and are ok

The doctors are going to try a  new therapy on him might might give him a little more time or aleast comfort  

It's  still very raw but the shock has worn off a little ,  feeling more positive .

Hi

So sad to hear about your Dad, I was in the same situation 22years ago. My Dad passed away after 8 weeks of being diagnosed with Bowel/Liver cancer. Its going to be a very difficult time for you but please try and be open and talk to your Dad, tell him your there for him. I was too afraid at the time to say things to him incase I upset him but I wish I had told him how much I cared for him and gave him the chance to talk to me about his fears/pain. Cry together , it will help you and your Dad. Take each day at a time, you will be strong, you somehow find that inner strength.

Thinking about you

My dad wont let me talk to his doctors he keeps everything from us , just trying to  protect us 

There sending him home next week to my mum who has just finished chemo herself she says she can cope , but just wants him home 

He told us before  that the doctors said he can have treatment when hes off oxygen  but are sending him home on oxygen

Im not one to give up but I think there sending home to die

MY DAD PASSED AWAY 10:30 AM WENDSDAY MORNING  WHILE I WAS AT WORK 

I DONT THINK HE SUFFERED AS MY MUM HAD GONE FOR A WASH AFTER GETTING MY DAD READY , SHE DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING SHE CAME BACK AND HE HAD GONE

ITS  MY BIRTHDAY NEXT FRIDAY I CANT BELIVE HE WONT BE THERE

I just read your post as I was going to bed and I just wanted to send your hug. My mum was diagnosed with lung cancer yesterday and everything you described I’m going through. I’m so sorry for your loss. Firsts of everything will be so difficult but you have your mum so hold each other tight xxx

sorry to hear of your loss , remember the good and carry on for everyone who need you to be strong i hope and wish good for you in the future although it will not seem like it , things will hopefully improve for you over time.

Ed

Hi.

Firstly I am so so sorry to read about your poor Dad. It is heart breaking when a loved one has this illness & you can't do a thing.

I lost my dear Dad last October, exactly 8 weeks from diagnosis to losing him. My sister's , Mum & I just talked about normal everyday things. Towards very end he loved talking about memories of when we were all little .... I am youngest at 49. 

We knew his time was near as he kept reaching out to "someone " that we cudnt see. 

I am still struggling with my grief now, but knowing Dad is at peace & no longer in pain is a huge relief. My dad was like your dear Dad, except where your dad had 3 litters drained, my Dad had 6 litres drained , 2 or 3 times within 8 weeks. Watching him go from a big stocky man to a tiny , frail old man absolutely DEVASTATED me, but I held it together for my mum's sake. 

I hope your dear Dad has a very peaceful passing when his time comes. Sending you love & hugs, & No, you are definitely not alone xx

Take care 

Josie x