I lost my dad 3 days ago. I'm 32, reading your post mirrored everything I feel. We have a family business, when he was diagnosed a year ago, my world came crashing down, and I had to suddenly run this very hard business, all on my own. I did it at the expense of my own mental health, it ruined me as a person to the point I couldn't continue and had to say I couldn't do it. But we had a plan to sell it, he had so much stuff in the workshop. We didn't get to sort it out as he's been so ill. 
I thought I was prepared for the worst with what could happen, he died with me my brother his mum and wife cuddling him in our family home. 
Ever since the pain has been too much, he meant everything to me the same as your father did, and things your saying I feel exactly the same, I don't like hearing people say " he's not suffering now" etc. my brother seems to be taking it better than me. I wake up crying my eyes out, I honestly feel like I need to go and find him, I'm so sad and hurt I feel I want to die and be with him. 
how are you feeling now some time has passed ? Do things get better 

Hi Tom,

Wanted to say how very sorry I am for the loss if your Dad. My Mum passed in May this year after a traumatic week in hospital, the last day of her life has given me images that I wish I could erase. I watched her take her last breath  whilst holding her hand and telling her over and over what a wonderful Mum she was and how proud I was of her. I am literally devastated. We lived and worked together for 10 years and the last 8 years I have been living with her and been her carer for the last 2 years. We ere best friends. Everything about our lifes were together, trips, holidays, mealtimes, even just sitting in the garden. Mum was the one I talked to about everything in life and her to me. How can we replace this? I can't. I am seriously struggling so I understand your feelings.

I hope we can all be there for each other with support because sharing on this forum can be a life saver. Take care and we are here if you need to talk.

Jane

Hi Tom,

Wanted to say how very sorry I am for the loss if your Dad. My Mum passed in May this year after a traumatic week in hospital, the last day of her life has given me images that I wish I could erase. I watched her take her last breath  whilst holding her hand and telling her over and over what a wonderful Mum she was and how proud I was of her. I am literally devastated. We lived and worked together for 10 years and the last 8 years I have been living with her and been her carer for the last 2 years. We ere best friends. Everything about our lifes were together, trips, holidays, mealtimes, even just sitting in the garden. Mum was the one I talked to about everything in life and her to me. How can we replace this? I can't. I am seriously struggling so I understand your feelings.

I hope we can all be there for each other with support because sharing on this forum can be a life saver. Take care and we are here if you need to talk.

Jane