Hi there you know people fall out its life but dont you think the realy shamful thing is that your stepdad and mum didnt ring to let you know before she died that was terrible and aimed from him to make you feel bad ime astouned he wasnt man enough to do that and he is trying to make you guilty what crissie said about writing a letter sounds good . Dont feel guilty unfortunatly false guilt seem to go with grief if you had been the perfect son or daughter your mind would find something guilt about just hold on you will work it out yourself when you get more level then you will realise what they did your stepdad is the one that should feel guilt but be a bigger person than him and pity him hes angry and wants to blame somone when anything happens in this world whats tthe first thing thats said whos fault is it . Thats just what he is doing men seem to get angry its the way we are .cancer is to blame i got it when my partner died even though i did everything i could her daughter turned on me .but shes hurting more than i for doing it because she lost a true friend i would have been there for till the day i die .best wishs .paul

Thank you Paul for your kind words.

i know he’s angry but if he could realise I lost my mum as well through all of this, but I understand that people like to  focus their anger on someone. 

I just wish I was there to make peace and say my goodbyes before and I’m angry at him but could never take it out on him as we are both grieving.

take care all the best

mel 

Hi i lost my partner 9 monts ago your stepdad will not be able to think of anything but the loss of your mum give him time he may change . Neither of you will be thinking straight just hold on the pain a guilt your feeling will dwindle you cant change whats happend neither should you feel guilty either but will griefs horrid but it does change as time goes by what a wonderfull world it would be if we all had hinsight but we dont your not alone many have had the same feelings including me .try bereavement counciling it will realy help you it realy helps to get rid of the guilt .p

Hi i lost my partner 9 monts ago your stepdad will not be able to think of anything but the loss of your mum give him time he may change . Neither of you will be thinking straight just hold on the pain a guilt your feeling will dwindle you cant change whats happend neither should you feel guilty either but will griefs horrid but it does change as time goes by what a wonderfull world it would be if we all had hinsight but we dont your not alone many have had the same feelings including me .try bereavement counciling it will realy help you it realy helps to get rid of the guilt .p