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Lost best friend to cancer

Lou020208
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Hi 

My best friend died on the 1st Decemberr 2018 ,. after a short battle with bowel cancer. She was only 35 years old and the most amazing lady and mum. 

Lately I have been struggling with the reality of what the cancer did to her. As she was so young her heart was strong, which meant that her body carried on for at least 3 weeks longer then normal. But in doing so it meant that we watched as the rest of her body wasted away to nothing - literally. It was horrific to watch. 

I thought I was okay with it all, but the last few weeks the images have been playing on my mind. I feel guilty for even feeling like that as whatever I feel it is even worse for her husband and children. 

 Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and if so ways of dealing with it?

 

Parents
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    Hi there thats how it seems to work first shock and numbness then reality kicks in so dont worry it was worse for me after a month or two it realy hit because you were a friend dosnt mean you cant get bereavment counciling as just about every emotion hits you at once and we go a bit crazy but onece your emotional strengh comes back  logical side of our brains start to take away the pain the guilt and everything eles and it gets eisier sound like your friend was lucky to have you as a friend and ime sure you feel the same but hold onto the thought that the pain does dwind but the love and effection dosnt .best wishs .paul

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    Hi there thats how it seems to work first shock and numbness then reality kicks in so dont worry it was worse for me after a month or two it realy hit because you were a friend dosnt mean you cant get bereavment counciling as just about every emotion hits you at once and we go a bit crazy but onece your emotional strengh comes back  logical side of our brains start to take away the pain the guilt and everything eles and it gets eisier sound like your friend was lucky to have you as a friend and ime sure you feel the same but hold onto the thought that the pain does dwind but the love and effection dosnt .best wishs .paul

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