Hi ellie try and relax if you can .its realy realy hard i know . Sounds like you realy need some counciling i would have a word with hr or your manager there obligated to help plus if they have lost a loved one they should understand just bite the bullet and go to the gym if you sit at home alone it makes it much worse go out with your friend .i stopped doing anything after my partner died end of april but eventualy i forced myself to go for walks etc but i did get bereavement counciling strait away and it realy helped if yout so stressed out go see your gp they can help with anxiaty and counciling .its realy early for you so dont worry how your feeling as we go a bit crazy trying to fathom out the unfathomable but it does get easier how long varies on you .but hold onto this thought that this horrible feeling your having now will not last they say its the price we pay for love but slowely it eases so c how you go on. ring and chat to anyone you can slowly it gets better .theres the samaritans 24/7 they will chat theres the cruise bereavment helpline mc millan helpling and here .all these are freephone freephone numbers.and they are so kind just ring them say ime stuggling and need help and they will give as much help as much as they can but you just need to ask.there arm many people on hear who understand so keep talking till you talked out by then you will ! Feel better .so best wishs to you and your family paul

Hi understand jo you poor lass you must be emotionaly exhausted thing is we loose a loved one we care for but who cares for the carrer eh we are left drained and after a few months the world carrys on and we are left time now to heal yourself well its early yet so so you just cant think straight but rest asured you will but not till you have mourned enough how long is up to you you can make it less painfull did you get some councilling to me it was helpfull but took a while at least every week i had someone to talk to that didnt change the subject a bereavement group or cafe may help so just hold on your pain will dwindle but not overnight its been 9 months since i lost my partner and ime not so bad but ime sure thats because i went out and got some help i new theres no magic bullet but it certainly made a diffrence .paul ps try a black arm band people will know your grieving it sounds old fashoned but some of the old ways are best your telling the world your grieving andain pain nd  we need to dont you feel compeld to tell people i do and so do many poor souls on here .paul

I've just come across your post & I can relate I lost my partner 6 weeks ago from pneumonia & stage 4 colon cancer I cared for him for 9 months from the day he was diagnosed in October 2021 he started chemotherapy in December as he had to have a stoma fitted due to a bowel blockage the chemo was working well at first up to March 2022 & even went back to work a few days a week all was looking good then in April he had a few major setbacks got acities & a bowel obstruction couldn't hardly eat or drink lost half his body weight aged 20 years & because of his major weight loss the chemo had to stop in June this year because of muscle wasting a few days later he went into hospital due to severe dehydration he died 2 days later from pneumonia I didn't expect this to happen I miss him so much he was my life & im struggling so much without him I'm back in work it does help a little with distraction but as soon as get home I cry I don't feel I'm getting any better in fact it's getting worse as time goes on I do take comfort that I was with him at the end but he was out of it I do hope he knows I was there & no longer in any pain.

Hi ime realy sorry to hear you lost your loved one its a pain you dont think was posible. you certainly did your best for him been a few years for me now since i lost liz but i still feel her around me so i never get lonely .you know they dont realy die there energy is indestructable there presence is gone but there energy is there to the end of time ime sure he's somewhere saying thats my girl she realy looked after me. i hope shes happy and not in pain .the pain does subside but it takes time been a few years now for me and although i know ill always miss liz ive come to terms with the fact like yourself that we did our best and by the sound of it your best was pretty dam good .

Hi ime realy sorry to hear you lost your loved one its a pain you dont think was posible. you certainly did your best for him been a few years for me now since i lost liz but i still feel her around me so i never get lonely .you know they dont realy die there energy is indestructable there presence is gone but there energy is there to the end of time ime sure he's somewhere saying thats my girl she realy looked after me. i hope shes happy and not in pain .the pain does subside but it takes time been a few years now for me and although i know ill always miss liz ive come to terms with the fact like yourself that we did our best and by the sound of it your best was pretty dam good .