Hi ellie try and relax if you can .its realy realy hard i know . Sounds like you realy need some counciling i would have a word with hr or your manager there obligated to help plus if they have lost a loved one they should understand just bite the bullet and go to the gym if you sit at home alone it makes it much worse go out with your friend .i stopped doing anything after my partner died end of april but eventualy i forced myself to go for walks etc but i did get bereavement counciling strait away and it realy helped if yout so stressed out go see your gp they can help with anxiaty and counciling .its realy early for you so dont worry how your feeling as we go a bit crazy trying to fathom out the unfathomable but it does get easier how long varies on you .but hold onto this thought that this horrible feeling your having now will not last they say its the price we pay for love but slowely it eases so c how you go on. ring and chat to anyone you can slowly it gets better .theres the samaritans 24/7 they will chat theres the cruise bereavment helpline mc millan helpling and here .all these are freephone freephone numbers.and they are so kind just ring them say ime stuggling and need help and they will give as much help as much as they can but you just need to ask.there arm many people on hear who understand so keep talking till you talked out by then you will ! Feel better .so best wishs to you and your family paul

I know exactly what you’re saying. I’m so so sorry about your dad. It just seems unreal. My dad is still here but idk for how long. He was so healthy and then boom one day he can’t walk anymore and we’re told cancer with no cure and terrible prognosis. Almost lost him in my arms multiple times. He’s better now but it’s not the same. He can’t walk. Has no control over bladder. Sometimes he says things that don’t make sense. And he’s a doctor! To see him like this for a year is breaking me. I have so much HATE and ANGER towards everyone for some reason and I can’t stop. My relationship with my sister is destroyed. Cause I don’t get along with her husband and we’re all under one room right now taking care of my dad. My mom is loosing her mind. It’s a mess. I’m tired. I’m scared and I’m sad. I can physically feel pain in my heart. My neck and head hurt all the time. I don’t smile. I’m not happy. Sometimes idk if I want my dad to stay this Way or let him go and that’s a constant battle in my head. It’s a nightmare. I’m obsessed with my dad and this is killing me. I feel like the stress might actually kill me. Sorry I just went on. If you find something that helps please let me know. I’m too desperate also and need help coping 

Hi understand jo you poor lass you must be emotionaly exhausted thing is we loose a loved one we care for but who cares for the carrer eh we are left drained and after a few months the world carrys on and we are left time now to heal yourself well its early yet so so you just cant think straight but rest asured you will but not till you have mourned enough how long is up to you you can make it less painfull did you get some councilling to me it was helpfull but took a while at least every week i had someone to talk to that didnt change the subject a bereavement group or cafe may help so just hold on your pain will dwindle but not overnight its been 9 months since i lost my partner and ime not so bad but ime sure thats because i went out and got some help i new theres no magic bullet but it certainly made a diffrence .paul ps try a black arm band people will know your grieving it sounds old fashoned but some of the old ways are best your telling the world your grieving andain pain nd  we need to dont you feel compeld to tell people i do and so do many poor souls on here .paul

I've just come across your post & I can relate I lost my partner 6 weeks ago from pneumonia & stage 4 colon cancer I cared for him for 9 months from the day he was diagnosed in October 2021 he started chemotherapy in December as he had to have a stoma fitted due to a bowel blockage the chemo was working well at first up to March 2022 & even went back to work a few days a week all was looking good then in April he had a few major setbacks got acities & a bowel obstruction couldn't hardly eat or drink lost half his body weight aged 20 years & because of his major weight loss the chemo had to stop in June this year because of muscle wasting a few days later he went into hospital due to severe dehydration he died 2 days later from pneumonia I didn't expect this to happen I miss him so much he was my life & im struggling so much without him I'm back in work it does help a little with distraction but as soon as get home I cry I don't feel I'm getting any better in fact it's getting worse as time goes on I do take comfort that I was with him at the end but he was out of it I do hope he knows I was there & no longer in any pain.

Hi ime realy sorry to hear you lost your loved one its a pain you dont think was posible. you certainly did your best for him been a few years for me now since i lost liz but i still feel her around me so i never get lonely .you know they dont realy die there energy is indestructable there presence is gone but there energy is there to the end of time ime sure he's somewhere saying thats my girl she realy looked after me. i hope shes happy and not in pain .the pain does subside but it takes time been a few years now for me and although i know ill always miss liz ive come to terms with the fact like yourself that we did our best and by the sound of it your best was pretty dam good .

Hi , my dad died June 2022 . My heart is Brocken , i to feel like my grief is getting worse not better . I can't sleep or think straight all I can see is his face when he was dying . He was full of life to at 77 he died of lung cancer . He was a very fit man before cancer took hold of his body , this vile horrid decease . I look at it like the modern day plague !!! . He loved life and was never in , always out having fun . He worked hard in his life , but enjoyed his hard earned money having loads of holidays . When cancer struck , I could not believe it , this strong clever man I thought he was distructable ! My dad had a partner a lot younger than him , dad was obsessed with her , almost like she came first . In a way I was not allowed to be his daughter . So when the cancer struck , it was almost like I should not be there . I'm an only child with 2 lovely grown up boys who loved there grandad dearly . My dad would speak to me 5 times a day about his illness that's all he could talk about . It completely consumed him understandably of cource . If not speak to me he would text all the time asking me is there a way he can be cured and how much he wanted to live . This was so distressing , . He said he can only talk to me as his partner gets a angry with him . During the last few months of his life dads partner asked her sister to move in with her . Almost like she was garding my dad . They were cruel to me and my family . Abusing me with there lies . I was never hardly aloud to be left with my dad alown . It was Luke he was there property . They even said they had booked him in to the funeral directors even though he was dying at home . Put all his stuff around him in the loft almost like they were telling him it's the end . My dad was in denial of death . My dad was given an allowance to help. The sister said that the money was hers . She even wanted to steal his money . The Mcmillon nurses were informed about there behaviour to . They were not impressed . Sadly 2 days after dads passing I got his Will through the post . I was shocked to the core and knumb . No one gets a Will that soon . We asked were it came from she denied she new . We did some research and fought her red handed posting my or dads will . We rang her asked her again we're did this Come from . She replied have not got a clue . Sadly it looks like fraud dad had a property business that I helped with . His will read alll his residual y estate goes to his partner and all possessions to . She was also the executor of the Will . She took over the funeral no flowers for me or music . We were devastated . 3 months on I still do t no we're dads ashes are . The Will is with a solicitor . I just won't these evil people out of my life . I loved my dad and thought he loved me . But did he really ? I'm so confused my head is a mess I'm grieving and I'm angry at the way I e been left . I did the best for my dad . I just do t no how I feel . I don't think he protected me enough trusting his partner to the end . Blood is more important . I will never get over this betrayal . I'm not saying he sigh e the Will but he did not put it in a safe place  leaving it wide open for fraud . Obviously he told me his intentions a few years ago and it certainly wasn't that . Not sure how to feel any more I do t trust anymore . Most of all I can't have my dad back and I just go on living in this nightmare . I just won't to get some peace and clarification .