Hi again,
I am really really struggling to cope with life. My dad left us three weeks ago. I spent two and a half weeks at home with family, pretty much screaming and crying. But I had to come back to London three days ago to go back to work. I work 12h per day, with no break, in a very demanding office job. I'm 24, it's my first real job, and I know everyone struggles with long hours and I should not complain. I am finding it really hard to cope though. While on the one hand I am distracted all day which is good because I don't spend my days crying anymore, on the other hand I intereorise every emotion I have, come home exhausted and do not have any time to go see a therapist, or go to the gym to exteriorise my anger and frustration. As I probably have a total of 2 free hours in the day, I spend those hours trying to stop myself from thinking about my dad because if I do, I don't sleep. I am so angry at everyone and everything and I really feel like I'm going down hill. I love my dad, and I keep having dreams that I am in a prison and he comes to give me food. He is the only one who can make this better and every morning I wake up panicking and hoping it was all a horrible nightmare. I just don't see a way out of this misery, this denial, anger, frustration, depression and desbelief. I am really really struggling. I miss him SO damn much and I really really need him to come back.
