My husband died on 18 January 2018. He was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer. He died with 2 months. Yesterday on the 14 February was his birthday. It's 2 years since he passed away but it is still very difficult for me. It still feel fresh. I d cry some times. But I have to be strong for our 7 year old daughter. 

Hi ime so sorry its so hard i know . I think in certain ways we never get over it just learn to live with it we realy have no choice ime a guy and have to admit at times it hits me and flattens me i come on in the hope i can give a bit of support .may i ask did you have any counciling it does help especialy as months go by and the world goes back to normal but we are still hurting at least you get to talk about things in my case i contacted the hospice as they deal with loss every day and and that hour a week was a lifeline because for us all of a sudden the life we knew ends and its very hard to start again its iot that long for you and its not to late .best wishs paul

Hi Paul 

I did got a little bit of counselling from Macmillan and now I am getting counselling from the University. 

It is still very hard.. There are times where I don't even feel like getting up at all. 

Yes for some time there dosnt seem much point getting up but it will get easier glad at least you have a counciler to talk to one day the sun will shine and life will have a meaning again its just a question of hanging in there .paul

Thank you so much. I hope that day will come soon. I will try and hang in there. Thank you for your time. 

Your wellcome it will get easier .regards paul

Hi Avril,

I am at the same sort of stage as you being that my wife passed away in June 2018. I find birthdays really hard and especially the anniversary of when she passed away. How have you found your counselling? I have had some myself and find it quite useful but in the end you have to deal it yourself.

As you said it is very hard and tbh I'm never far away from crying. I keep thinking that grief isn't forever but love is. Stay strong.

Chris

Hi Chris 

Yes I do find Counselling very helpful. That's where I offload my sorrows. Ye I find birthdays and anniversaries of his death very hard.  His  death anniversary is on 16 January, his birthday is on 14 February,  our  wedding was on 12 March,  our daughters birthday is on 7 April and my birthday on 14 May.  He was a hands on husband and dad.

It's been 2 years now and it's still very hard. I hope it will get better in the couple of years to come. 

Thank you for your response. 

Regards 

Avril 

Hi Chris 

Yes I do find Counselling very helpful. That's where I offload my sorrows. Ye I find birthdays and anniversaries of his death very hard.  His  death anniversary is on 16 January, his birthday is on 14 February,  our  wedding was on 12 March,  our daughters birthday is on 7 April and my birthday on 14 May.  He was a hands on husband and dad.

It's been 2 years now and it's still very hard. I hope it will get better in the couple of years to come. 

Thank you for your response. 

Regards 

Avril 

My misses passed almost a month ago aged 48.

lots of the comments on here strike the same nerve although I know things will get better life seems a little like a waist of my time we have 4 kids from 15 to 28

I started writing poetry for some strange reason it helps me a bit as I don't have to think about the feelings of loudness. My spelling isn't the best but here is my first work ever .

My eyes are red and all a blaze ... I cant see through all this haze.
She died too young and that’s for sure,
 for this world she was too pure. 
with her kindness and her smile she lit the world but for a while.
You left too soon and left us here... i dull0 the sadness with my beer.
 it works for me but just a while....for one more day or see your smile.
For  7 years you had your fight..... your battle just to stay alive.
You didn’t cry or complain......you would apologise and smile again.
things were left for us to see..
 its my regret that you not here...with me.
If it were a choice for me to choose...I’d trade with u but you’d refuse.
We  will go on...with you not here, knowing that your still quite near. 
We will look on, with much regret....Weill meet again but not quite yet.
I hope to have just half your strength to face.
to rule the roost to take your place
With lifes road its just a wind , with  these 4 rocks u left behind .
with these i lean to get me through ...So pleased i spent my time with you.
Luv you loads darl sweet dreams.
My leah...written with tears.

.....has anybody else here done the same 

Hello Gavg 
I'm so very sorry to hear that you've recently lost your wife. On behalf of the whole Cancer Chat team please accept our condolences. 

I know we have a number of active members here at the moment who are in similar circumstances to you, in particular [@Devondog]‍ aka Ray springs to mind. You can read his thread here. 

I hope that you're able to connect with others here who understand and can share their experiences and support with you. 

Best wishes, 

Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator