Don't expect too much from yourself; to lose a parent who - by definition - has always been part of your life takes more than a few months to assimilate.  It is 20 years since my dad died from pneumonia and I can still picture him in his hospital bed but it no longer tears me apart.  My mum died from cancer  ten years earlier and again I can still picture her when she was ill but I can smile because with both parents I also have so many happy memories.  Grief does take people differently but by anyone's standards 3 months is not really any time.  Do whatever makes you feel a bit better - smile at the memory of things he said, look at things that you particularly associate with him and smile; in fact do anything which helps you.  Gradually, bit by little bit, the balance between tears and smiling will move and you can remember without being devastated.  Annie

Don't expect too much from yourself; to lose a parent who - by definition - has always been part of your life takes more than a few months to assimilate.  It is 20 years since my dad died from pneumonia and I can still picture him in his hospital bed but it no longer tears me apart.  My mum died from cancer  ten years earlier and again I can still picture her when she was ill but I can smile because with both parents I also have so many happy memories.  Grief does take people differently but by anyone's standards 3 months is not really any time.  Do whatever makes you feel a bit better - smile at the memory of things he said, look at things that you particularly associate with him and smile; in fact do anything which helps you.  Gradually, bit by little bit, the balance between tears and smiling will move and you can remember without being devastated.  Annie