Hi Hey Jude,

7 months is no time at all, when you think of all the years until now we had our Mums.

I guess, like me, you are dreading the “firsts” . I am surrounded by people talking about Christmas for example. I want to yell at them and ask them how they think I can possibly have a Christmas without her.    

Like you, the moments when reality  hits me are so hard, this grief swallows me up.

I liken the feeling to playing a game of snakes and ladders. You believe you are taking little steps in moving forward, yet every now and then you slide right make to the beginning. Each time you do you feel you have less and less energy to move forward again.

I know exactly what you mean. And you mentioned being traumatised by what you saw her go through and being in counselling.    I’m the same. I found my mum passed away and the image still haunts me. Counselling really helped me too. Just to know that the flashbacks are normal and that I would find a way to cope was a huge comfort. In time they have reduced but as you say every so often I’ll get an image in my mind like seeing the hearse at the funeral and I lose it again. In terms of firsts, it was my birthday last month which felt like no birthday at all. How can it be your birthday when the person who gave birth to you is gone? Mums birthday is 3 days before Christmas so I’m absolutely dreading that week. For 44 years I had Christmas dinner st my mums. Now the family home is up for sale (she separated from dad a long time ago) and my sister and I are dealing with estate agents and solicitors who forget that she died in her bed in that house. To then it’s just business but every contact is agony for us. 

Its a horrendous journey but things can only get better. It’s jyst so comforting to hear that others like yourself feel the same way. We will get through it. Talking about it is such good therapy.

I know exactly what you mean. And you mentioned being traumatised by what you saw her go through and being in counselling.    I’m the same. I found my mum passed away and the image still haunts me. Counselling really helped me too. Just to know that the flashbacks are normal and that I would find a way to cope was a huge comfort. In time they have reduced but as you say every so often I’ll get an image in my mind like seeing the hearse at the funeral and I lose it again. In terms of firsts, it was my birthday last month which felt like no birthday at all. How can it be your birthday when the person who gave birth to you is gone? Mums birthday is 3 days before Christmas so I’m absolutely dreading that week. For 44 years I had Christmas dinner st my mums. Now the family home is up for sale (she separated from dad a long time ago) and my sister and I are dealing with estate agents and solicitors who forget that she died in her bed in that house. To then it’s just business but every contact is agony for us. 

Its a horrendous journey but things can only get better. It’s jyst so comforting to hear that others like yourself feel the same way. We will get through it. Talking about it is such good therapy.