just lost husband to stage 4 cancer

hello, everyone, I am from New York and came across this website that looks so helpful, on August 18th the love of my life passed away from stage 4 lung cancer that had spread to his liver, bones, and brain. This is the most painful thing I have ever gone through in my life, I feel so half empty without him. The crazy thing about it is we found out about cancer on August 1st by the 18th he passed away. Everything was such a shock and still is, it's killing me inside not having him here with me especially at night. I look at our four children and the thought that he won't be around for their growing up is unbearable. You know the symptoms did not start to show until July when he started complaining of his back, right shoulder, and arm, he went into the hospital on July 31st and on Aug 1st we found out about cancer, I thought he had months to a year, not two weeks can anyone else who has gone through this with a loved one please tell me how they deal and cope with this because I feel like I am going into depression I cry every day, I miss and love him so much we were together 16 years, I will never have another man like him  

Parents
  • Hello,

    I understand the meaning of bereavement I lost my husband April 19th 2020 to secondary aggressive cancer stage four. We had been together for 28 year's married 25 year's. He was the only man in my life whom I have ever loved. I have cried with heart break. Every day I have to face the loneliness in the morning's and the evening's. My mind never stop's looking at the memories of our live's together, even memories have come forth I thought I had forgotten and has been a task to deal with. Bereavement is like an attachment to my brain which I try hard to deal with and doesn't go away. I keep myself occupied which help's sometimes. I have many wonderful friend's who have listened to my grief. My family also have been very supportive.

    Bereavement in away is like a punishment in a way for all the grief of guilt I feel when I look back and as much as I tell my self I cannot changed the past, i still have to deal with my anger, my crying, my loneliness and heart break. I know time is a heeler, how long I have no idea. I loved him with all my heart and alway's will and hope to meet him again one day.

    I truly feel your loss and understand what you have and still are going through. It is said it does get easier in time. I look forward to when I can smile when looking at my beautiful memories.

     

Reply
  • Hello,

    I understand the meaning of bereavement I lost my husband April 19th 2020 to secondary aggressive cancer stage four. We had been together for 28 year's married 25 year's. He was the only man in my life whom I have ever loved. I have cried with heart break. Every day I have to face the loneliness in the morning's and the evening's. My mind never stop's looking at the memories of our live's together, even memories have come forth I thought I had forgotten and has been a task to deal with. Bereavement is like an attachment to my brain which I try hard to deal with and doesn't go away. I keep myself occupied which help's sometimes. I have many wonderful friend's who have listened to my grief. My family also have been very supportive.

    Bereavement in away is like a punishment in a way for all the grief of guilt I feel when I look back and as much as I tell my self I cannot changed the past, i still have to deal with my anger, my crying, my loneliness and heart break. I know time is a heeler, how long I have no idea. I loved him with all my heart and alway's will and hope to meet him again one day.

    I truly feel your loss and understand what you have and still are going through. It is said it does get easier in time. I look forward to when I can smile when looking at my beautiful memories.

     

Children
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