just lost husband to stage 4 cancer

hello, everyone, I am from New York and came across this website that looks so helpful, on August 18th the love of my life passed away from stage 4 lung cancer that had spread to his liver, bones, and brain. This is the most painful thing I have ever gone through in my life, I feel so half empty without him. The crazy thing about it is we found out about cancer on August 1st by the 18th he passed away. Everything was such a shock and still is, it's killing me inside not having him here with me especially at night. I look at our four children and the thought that he won't be around for their growing up is unbearable. You know the symptoms did not start to show until July when he started complaining of his back, right shoulder, and arm, he went into the hospital on July 31st and on Aug 1st we found out about cancer, I thought he had months to a year, not two weeks can anyone else who has gone through this with a loved one please tell me how they deal and cope with this because I feel like I am going into depression I cry every day, I miss and love him so much we were together 16 years, I will never have another man like him  

Parents
  • Hello.  My husband and I were together for 54 years, from being 17 years old. He was my best friend.   He thought he had pulled a muscle in his back and went to the doctors.  They said he was fine and not to worry.  Three weeks later he was diagnosed with a very rare aggressive type of cancer  this was late July and he died 10 September.  I, like you, do not know how to go on.  He is my first thought when waking and my last thought before trying to go to sleep.  It has been 23 days and my heart aches so much and I cannot get through a day without crying.  I have a dog who, when I come back to the house after a walk he rushes upstairs to the study to have his usual tummy tickle and when he cannot find my husband he then rushes from room to room to find him.  He then sits looking at the front door for hours.  This also breaks my heart.  I am angry that I have lost the love of my life but so grateful that he did not suffer too much.

    Sending you hugs and hoping that some day we can think of our husbands and the only reaction we have is to smile at the lovely memories we have made together. xxx

     

Reply
  • Hello.  My husband and I were together for 54 years, from being 17 years old. He was my best friend.   He thought he had pulled a muscle in his back and went to the doctors.  They said he was fine and not to worry.  Three weeks later he was diagnosed with a very rare aggressive type of cancer  this was late July and he died 10 September.  I, like you, do not know how to go on.  He is my first thought when waking and my last thought before trying to go to sleep.  It has been 23 days and my heart aches so much and I cannot get through a day without crying.  I have a dog who, when I come back to the house after a walk he rushes upstairs to the study to have his usual tummy tickle and when he cannot find my husband he then rushes from room to room to find him.  He then sits looking at the front door for hours.  This also breaks my heart.  I am angry that I have lost the love of my life but so grateful that he did not suffer too much.

    Sending you hugs and hoping that some day we can think of our husbands and the only reaction we have is to smile at the lovely memories we have made together. xxx

     

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