just lost husband to stage 4 cancer

hello, everyone, I am from New York and came across this website that looks so helpful, on August 18th the love of my life passed away from stage 4 lung cancer that had spread to his liver, bones, and brain. This is the most painful thing I have ever gone through in my life, I feel so half empty without him. The crazy thing about it is we found out about cancer on August 1st by the 18th he passed away. Everything was such a shock and still is, it's killing me inside not having him here with me especially at night. I look at our four children and the thought that he won't be around for their growing up is unbearable. You know the symptoms did not start to show until July when he started complaining of his back, right shoulder, and arm, he went into the hospital on July 31st and on Aug 1st we found out about cancer, I thought he had months to a year, not two weeks can anyone else who has gone through this with a loved one please tell me how they deal and cope with this because I feel like I am going into depression I cry every day, I miss and love him so much we were together 16 years, I will never have another man like him  

Parents
  • Hi Shakia bless you and your children I lost my husband within 2 months of diagnosis to cancer I want to send you all warmth and hugs. No one can take away the pain and loss or emptiness you feel for me crying has helped my children are grown up so I can cry when I want to.l know you are having to be strong for your children. When they are taken so quickly we feel cheated and rightly so.The only way I am getting by and it may not be anyone else's way is I know my husband wold not have wanted to go through treatment and it not work .They say things happen for a reason and although they were taken from us to soon their suffering was only short and the loving life you had and your family you had together is your reason for going on I try to wrap myself up in what we had it will never be enough for me but it helps me to think all of us who have lost someone did not choose to go away from them we had no choice. It's no good anyone telling us to be brave move on I have had these things and more said to me. There can never be for me an explanation as to why we lose the love of our life when we still have so much life to live hopefully we will see them again one day I hold on to that my love take care sweetie and whatever you are feeling go with it grief affects us all in different ways. Chrisx
  • people can't tell you how to feel to they have gone through it, so I just try to ignore it, ever since my husband passed eight months ago, everything is exactly the same before he passed, I feel I need that, people have told me maybe I should consider getting rid of his stuff to help me better cope with his passing, but the truth is that would tear me up inside, its bad enough he is not physically here but now get rid of his stuff, never would I do that, it makes me feel close to him in a way, thank you for your kind words, and hope all is well with you and your family

Reply
  • people can't tell you how to feel to they have gone through it, so I just try to ignore it, ever since my husband passed eight months ago, everything is exactly the same before he passed, I feel I need that, people have told me maybe I should consider getting rid of his stuff to help me better cope with his passing, but the truth is that would tear me up inside, its bad enough he is not physically here but now get rid of his stuff, never would I do that, it makes me feel close to him in a way, thank you for your kind words, and hope all is well with you and your family

Children
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