just lost husband to stage 4 cancer

hello, everyone, I am from New York and came across this website that looks so helpful, on August 18th the love of my life passed away from stage 4 lung cancer that had spread to his liver, bones, and brain. This is the most painful thing I have ever gone through in my life, I feel so half empty without him. The crazy thing about it is we found out about cancer on August 1st by the 18th he passed away. Everything was such a shock and still is, it's killing me inside not having him here with me especially at night. I look at our four children and the thought that he won't be around for their growing up is unbearable. You know the symptoms did not start to show until July when he started complaining of his back, right shoulder, and arm, he went into the hospital on July 31st and on Aug 1st we found out about cancer, I thought he had months to a year, not two weeks can anyone else who has gone through this with a loved one please tell me how they deal and cope with this because I feel like I am going into depression I cry every day, I miss and love him so much we were together 16 years, I will never have another man like him  

Parents
  • Dear shakia6, I am in the similar situation as you are. My husband has some pain symptom in late July and was diagnosed with cancer of unknown primary in early August. He is still battling with his cancer at the moment but I have to tell you it's torture and heart breaking to see him struggling in pain for over a month now. We are also been together for 10 years and just before cancer kicked in, we have just bought our first house and planning for a family. I also feel like there is no future for me and no one would ever replace him. But for you, you need to be strong for your children. Think that at least your husband didn't have to suffer in pain in such a long period of time like my husband does. Cry whenever you need, seek comfort and love from your family or seeing professionals for your trauma. We were born in this world and living everyday walking to death, some people just go there faster and making everyone around him feel empty and lost and hurt. But probably in the other side of the World, he is starting his new life with a lot of new friends, laughing and enjoying his immortality and waiting patiently to see you again one day. Till that day comes, be strong, for your kids, live your life to the fullest and let time heal all the wound... I am writing this to you, as well as to myself, and to other wives who had lost, or losing their dear husbands....
Reply
  • Dear shakia6, I am in the similar situation as you are. My husband has some pain symptom in late July and was diagnosed with cancer of unknown primary in early August. He is still battling with his cancer at the moment but I have to tell you it's torture and heart breaking to see him struggling in pain for over a month now. We are also been together for 10 years and just before cancer kicked in, we have just bought our first house and planning for a family. I also feel like there is no future for me and no one would ever replace him. But for you, you need to be strong for your children. Think that at least your husband didn't have to suffer in pain in such a long period of time like my husband does. Cry whenever you need, seek comfort and love from your family or seeing professionals for your trauma. We were born in this world and living everyday walking to death, some people just go there faster and making everyone around him feel empty and lost and hurt. But probably in the other side of the World, he is starting his new life with a lot of new friends, laughing and enjoying his immortality and waiting patiently to see you again one day. Till that day comes, be strong, for your kids, live your life to the fullest and let time heal all the wound... I am writing this to you, as well as to myself, and to other wives who had lost, or losing their dear husbands....
Children
  • thank you and everyone on my psot for all of your kind words, been busy lately dealing with some issues, but I am striving to be okay for my kids sake, I hope and pray your husband is okay and well, blessings to you and your family

  • Hi I am in same situation just learned husband has lung cancer which has spread to bones and liver! He has already had Hodgkin Lymphoma 27 years ago but the damaged caused by that treatment has caused a problem with the heart! He has been unwell since Christmas but we kept being told it was only his heart , and that he would just need a value replacement after the pacemaker was fittted!  So far since March he’s been in 2 induced comas 5th stay in hospital and  and total of 9 weeks altogether.. Two weeks ago we were told that is was cancer and had spread.. lungs now are just filling up with fluid al the time..now told nothing can be done as his heart will not take treatment—- devastated