just lost husband to stage 4 cancer

hello, everyone, I am from New York and came across this website that looks so helpful, on August 18th the love of my life passed away from stage 4 lung cancer that had spread to his liver, bones, and brain. This is the most painful thing I have ever gone through in my life, I feel so half empty without him. The crazy thing about it is we found out about cancer on August 1st by the 18th he passed away. Everything was such a shock and still is, it's killing me inside not having him here with me especially at night. I look at our four children and the thought that he won't be around for their growing up is unbearable. You know the symptoms did not start to show until July when he started complaining of his back, right shoulder, and arm, he went into the hospital on July 31st and on Aug 1st we found out about cancer, I thought he had months to a year, not two weeks can anyone else who has gone through this with a loved one please tell me how they deal and cope with this because I feel like I am going into depression I cry every day, I miss and love him so much we were together 16 years, I will never have another man like him  

Parents
  • Oh sweetie I'm so sorry for your loss x My dad also died of stage 4 lung cancer and even though he lived a year after his diagnosis it was so painful for everyone and he never accepted he was going to die and was in so much emotional distress that it made the whole journey more devastating because I felt like I could feel his pain and it really affected me It's been just over a year since he died and although still painful and shocking still, the good days outweigh the bad now! My advice sweetie would be to allow yourself to feel the different emotional stages that you will go through, everyone processes things differently but as cliche as this sounds, your pain will become more tolerable x lots of hugs sent your way xxxx

Reply
  • Oh sweetie I'm so sorry for your loss x My dad also died of stage 4 lung cancer and even though he lived a year after his diagnosis it was so painful for everyone and he never accepted he was going to die and was in so much emotional distress that it made the whole journey more devastating because I felt like I could feel his pain and it really affected me It's been just over a year since he died and although still painful and shocking still, the good days outweigh the bad now! My advice sweetie would be to allow yourself to feel the different emotional stages that you will go through, everyone processes things differently but as cliche as this sounds, your pain will become more tolerable x lots of hugs sent your way xxxx

Children
  • that pain that I have of passing in the hospital is like it happened yesterday, to watch him in pain was heart drenching and little bit of me died everdyay, but I am glad he is at peace with no cancer to tear him down everyday, my husband was also the type to not accept that he was going to die, I was the one who was crazy with sadness and anger for the situation, he never let it get him down, he was strong til he end, don't know why cancer chose us, now its just about making sure me and my 4 kids are okay, thank you for your kind words