just lost husband to stage 4 cancer

hello, everyone, I am from New York and came across this website that looks so helpful, on August 18th the love of my life passed away from stage 4 lung cancer that had spread to his liver, bones, and brain. This is the most painful thing I have ever gone through in my life, I feel so half empty without him. The crazy thing about it is we found out about cancer on August 1st by the 18th he passed away. Everything was such a shock and still is, it's killing me inside not having him here with me especially at night. I look at our four children and the thought that he won't be around for their growing up is unbearable. You know the symptoms did not start to show until July when he started complaining of his back, right shoulder, and arm, he went into the hospital on July 31st and on Aug 1st we found out about cancer, I thought he had months to a year, not two weeks can anyone else who has gone through this with a loved one please tell me how they deal and cope with this because I feel like I am going into depression I cry every day, I miss and love him so much we were together 16 years, I will never have another man like him  

Parents
  • Hi Shakia,

    I also lost my husband to cancer. He died suddenly mid Sept. I am at a total loss. I try to go long as normal but I don’t even know what that is anymore. People say it will get better but it doesn’t help with the now. 13 years ago I cared for my mum, she died from cancer. In Feb this year my dad was diagnosed with cancer, dying at the end of April. Then 2 weeks later my husband was diagnosed. He died after going into hospital to be treated for an infection, he was meant to come home, he was only there 5 days, he was fighting the cancer, this wasn’t meant to happen.

    Have you found anything that has helped?

    I just can’t get my head around it all. And it’s just the worst time with Christmas around the corner. 

  • Hi Shakia love and warmth to you I wish I had something that could help.You are still in shock babe I learnt this when my lovely kind doctor told me to try and think about me.Yes you are there for others but I found people telling me it would get better and easier did not help.we have lost so much we lie with them and now they are not there l have all our things the same as they have ever been I still have all his clothes and possessions even though people have recommended a trip to the charity shop.cry when you want feel sorry for yourself and wrap yourself up in good memories of your life together I even chuckle about our bickering which was silly now I think of it but that’s what makes you realise what a lovely hubby you had .you take care of yourself. I try to think they must be somewhere better and flying highand one day you will see him again the love you shared will always be there inside you will light candle for you .Christmas for me can come and go but no one will tell me how to feel because everyone is different and I will do it my own way because yes I am sad but also happy to have had my special wonderful Jim in my life always happy to chat if you need
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  • Hi Shakia love and warmth to you I wish I had something that could help.You are still in shock babe I learnt this when my lovely kind doctor told me to try and think about me.Yes you are there for others but I found people telling me it would get better and easier did not help.we have lost so much we lie with them and now they are not there l have all our things the same as they have ever been I still have all his clothes and possessions even though people have recommended a trip to the charity shop.cry when you want feel sorry for yourself and wrap yourself up in good memories of your life together I even chuckle about our bickering which was silly now I think of it but that’s what makes you realise what a lovely hubby you had .you take care of yourself. I try to think they must be somewhere better and flying highand one day you will see him again the love you shared will always be there inside you will light candle for you .Christmas for me can come and go but no one will tell me how to feel because everyone is different and I will do it my own way because yes I am sad but also happy to have had my special wonderful Jim in my life always happy to chat if you need
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