Hi there thanks for your kind word on this difficult time for us both.think your totally right about family as I’m just back from 2 wk break with my wife and 3 kids and I think it’s helped to clear my mind and take note of how life can change so quickly.my daughter is 13 and she’s bren amazing and a know she really misses her gran.think going to my mums grave regularly with kids helps as she feels close when I’m there .it still doesn’t feel real but just try and think of what your mum would want and try and live your life to the full as it puts things in to perspective.

So sorry your about your loss

Someone you love has gone and the world just goes on turning while yours has stopped and you feel lost 

Someone told me losing your mum is the last bit of growing up we do 

please seek help bereavement counseling 

really will help you to deal with your feelings

and let you know it's normal to feel the way you do 

people automatically tell you about their loses 

instead of listening to you or say stupid things like their not suffering now but

Your mum would want you to be happy and 

not mourn her at the cost of your family 

see you gp and try the counseling 

sending you love ️ 

The huge emptiness.

My Mum died in late Sept this year...

She went in to hospital for a different problem in Sept and they did scans and found out her breast cancer had returned and was now in Liver, Lungs, Bones etc.... They said she had three months.  She passed away 14 days after that.

I didn't get to say all the things I so desperately wanted to say.  I didn't get to tell her a million more times how much I love her. I know she knew I loved her.

But I feel she would be peeved at me for taking her to the hospital to start with as she didn't want to go and I told a porkie - I said the doctor said to go - I didn't tell her that I sent him a secret note about her problems..... I feel so guilty. I feel in many ways if she had stayed at home and just passed away without the in-the-middle couple of weeks in the hospital, where the nurses were ignoring her when she spoke, and she was not happy at all.  In my head at that time they would just fix the first problem, and things would go back to normal. I am still reeling from the fact that it all changed from a relatively simple-ish problem to what it ended up being.

I feel so desperately alone, and I want that phone to ring like it always did at certain times of the day.  

So many things I need to say to her, the void left behind is a chasm that I do not believe I will ever get past. 

I know that it takes time and at this moment I am just plodding through every day in a haze as there is so much to do with the house and stuff.  I am grateful that she is not suffering. I am grateful that she did not have to go through what she would have hated for three months, as she always said 'When I can't wipe my own a*se I want out' 

I am glad she did not have to go through months of agony.

I feel selfish in some ways wishing her back because she is in no pain now.  I am so grateful that I had her for as long as I did. I am so very grateful that I was given the gift of her as my Mum as she was the most wonderful person and this world was a better place with her in it. She was my rock. She held me up and was always there to talk sense to me.  

Nobody else around me is falling apart. Just me.  I know I was the closest to her. Every day was about making sure all was OK for my Mum - I did everything  she needed to make sure her life was easier, so she could remain in her home and just do what she wanted to do.  We were a kind a double act - We were very close.  

It still feels like I am in some kind of bad dream and I will wake up in a moment - I so much want to wake up from this.  I know it's not a dream, but - I guess I am just in shock as things changed so fast and my mind just cannot take it in - Or doesn't want to take it in.

I miss her so desperately, and I feel so alone.

I need a delivery of industrial quantities of tissues.

I have no friends near here.  Just one friend who I talk to online as she lives a ways away, but I see no humans who knew her whom I can talk to, except my kids.

I just feel so alone I guess, hence finding this site whilst googling how to cope with life after losing her.  This huge emptiness is so hard to bear.  We used to speak multiple times a day on the phone. And now the phone is silent.

The Void is a very dark, lonely, empty place

Morning sue,

Apart from couple of details, I could have written your post. My mum went into hospital for a routine op under local anaesthetic to remove a blockage in her carotid artery. I forced the hospital to give her the surgery threatening all sorts. They had already cancelled the op once and I knew that mum was a massive stroke risk without the op. Mum had a brain hemorrhage 15 minutes into the recovery room and died the following day. She was only in for a routine op!

Mum and I were so close and also a double act. I am completely lost without her and the shock of her sudden death has had an awful effect on my health.

Nearly 5 months down the line I am honestly still in shock. I have a 12 year old daughter and a loving partner but still manage to feel very alone alot of the time.

I know that I am changed forever and will never be the same person. I feel that life will forever have had its light switched off without my mum to share it with.

You are not alone sue but somehow we have to get through this.

Sending my love.

Cheryl x 

Hi, 

I feel your pain.. I lost my mum in February this year in 10  days from diagnosis to pancreatic  cancer. My life has not been the same anymore and some days I still wake up thinking she's at home, waiting for my call or my text.. I have a beautiful husband and 2 great children but she was my world and I feel so empty without her ..my dad died 8 months before my mum and I couldn't even attend his funeral as I was due with my second baby and we lived in different countries 

my life has just turned upside down, somehow I had to start a new life without my parents .. 

I wish I could still see them even just to say goodbye .. be strong and if you ever feel like talking to someone do write here 

big hugs 

Just like you I yearn to say goodbye and to hug her.

I feel my life will never be anything like it was before and most days I still wake up thinking she's at home, waiting for my call or my text from her - At certain times I look at the phone - I have called her number a few times - Sad but true - It is disconnected......

I feel the tears so readily in my eyes even typing this - I don't think I am able to ever get used to what has happened. They say time is a great healer - But at this time I do not believe that

I feel the same as you - Everyone else is going on with life and I am sat here wondering how they manage to do this.

Yes but it doesn’t get easier all I want to do is join my mum she was my everything I lay on her bed talk to her make her cups of tea still feel her hot water bottle take a flask of tea to her grave everyday for her all I think about is just join her so I can be with her again everyone saying I’m mad anyway 

I feel the same empty inside like part of me has died mum died of heart failure 11 days ago trying to sort everything keep going dads in pieces hes 91 mum was 86 I dont want to get out of bed but force myself for the family kids grandkids and dad it's nice to talk to others that are going through the same thing