I have lost my young husband

My husband passed away 22 days ago. He was just 52. I am 46. We have two children aged 13 & 10. I am completely devastated and cannot stop thinking about him. He was only diagnosed in May and we didn't get chance to do anything or plan anything. Nobody told us it would be so quick. He was such a fit and healthy man I can't understand it. He was chatting away on bank holiday Monday and then they told me on the Tuesday he wouldn't wake up. He died on the Thursday and we never really spoke again. I was with him when he died, I was holding his hand, it was horrible. I am so incredibly sad. 

  • Hi Clairet.

    I'm so very sorry for your loss.

    I lost my Mum a few weeks ago, she was fit and healthy.. then colapsed in agony, went to hospital, then 3 weeks to the day she was gone.

    So I understand your feeling of confusion and regret at the speed it all happened.

    Just take each day as it comes sweet, it's hard, I know it is, but that's all you can do. 

     

    Try to eat, and make sure you can get some rest.

    Take care ok. xx

  • I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 2 weeks ago and it's so hard to carry on without them isn't it, I think I am just sleep walking through each day nothing seems real. Life is still the same but everything is different. I am just trying to get through each day and hoping the next one will be better. 

    Sending you my love. X

  • Thank you for your reply, I am so sorry to read that you are going through the same thing. It's just so terrible and hard to come to terms with. I hate this awful disease. Jeff once said to me I hate this hand we have been dealt, little did he know he would be gone so quickly. He tried so hard to stay with us, apricot kernels, sugar free, dairy free, caffeine free, every bloody thing that he hated he tried but cancer won. Every day feels like a marathon to me, I am exhausted.

     

    sending my love to you x 

  • So sorry to hear about your loss. It seems so hard when it is unexpected or quick. I lost my wife in June, and after just 7 months.

    The grief takes many forms I think and all we have is the knowledge that over time the pain will ease. It is so hard to get through day to day though and I hope you have relatives/friends that you can talk to. Seek any professional help you can/ or want as you dont have suffer alone. Take care of yourself too, as best you can.

    Read up about handling grief online, I was surprised at how many emotions can surface and their effects.

  • I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my dear husband of 48 years seven weeks ago today, he was 66 & was always a fit and healthy man also...he was diognosed & passed within a year. We always had hope, & tried everything, he fought so hard to stay with us...but cancer won out in the end. I miss him so much, & when I look at his photos it's so hard to believe that he is no longer here. Some days are harder than others. I've found taking one day, one moment at a time works. Grief takes on many forms & have found reading books about grief, & grief counselling a great help.  Look after yourself sweetheart...your two beautiful children need you xxx

  • Dear Clairet I am so sorry your husband is gone but you will keep his memory alive.  I was diagnosed with cancer last year and went to the Walker Clinic for surgery, chemo and radiaiton.  I was absolutely dumfounded about the number of people who were there receiving treatment.  Cancer is an epedemic that is affecting thousands of us.  I wish I had a dollar for every person who told me to stay strong, it actually made me so mad to hear that although I know every one meant well. The children with cancer is what breaks my heart, a friend of mine lost her 6 year old granddaughter to it last year.  I wish for you is the ability to live with the memories of every day your husband was alive. God bless you and your family. Linda

  • Hi I to have lost my husband.he passed away 10 weeks ago on Tuesday. From finding out to him passing was only 6 weeks no symptoms he had oesophageal cancer and was in his liver and lungs.went to Weston park to find it was stage 4 cancer said they would do chemo.we had to go into palative care cus he was having bowel problems they did a scan to find his liver was fully tumor.then to be told there nothing else that can be done.they gave him weeks but deteriorated very quickly.he was only 48 we been married 28 years it's so devastating to watch a loved one go through this terrible disease.my thoughts are with you

  • Hi, so sorry for your loss, I lost my partner Paul 5 weeks ago to bowel cancer.  He was also fit and healthy.  When we were told last April, it knocked up for six.  He was only 48, I'm 41, 42 in 14 days time. We weren't married but we were together for 23 years.  God I miss him so much, it's like half of me has died with him.  I don't think about the future anymore, just one day at a time.  He was my soulmate and best friend.  It's like we are in a bubble, looking out to the rest of the world carring on.  I know Paul would want me to carry on as best as I can, he was scared of dieiing. I held his hand until the end, made him feel safe and not scared.  Told him how much I loved him.  That will stay with me forever.  I was strong when I needed to be.  His funeral was beautiful, hopefully I made him proud.  I have his ashes at home, sent some of to be made into a ring and earrings.  You will have a lot of running around to do.  Try and get some rest, and take support of others when offered. Remember one day at a time.  Take care. Xxx

  • Hi

    i lost my young husband also 3 weeks tomorrow he was 34yrs from being diagnosed to the end was 9 months he would always say it will be okay he didn't want to leave us and fought so hard the pain he endured was crippling.we also have young children 10yrs & 8yrs.

    They are the only reason I get up!.

    I miss him so much it takes my breath away almost like a panic,the thought of never hearing seeing him breaks my heart.

    I'm lost without him,struggle to be strong for the children but realise they need some sort of normal, tough times ahead. 

    Love & strengh to you all xxx