Lost my lovely mum

My lovely mum died on 21st March and I don't think I have ever felt so much pain - she was diagnosed in November last year and it's all been such a shock - it's now slowly seeping in that she's gone. I feel as though I organised her funeral on auto pilot. My mum was my best friend and I feel so adrift without her. We became especially close after my dad died nearly 4 years ago - even though his death hit me hard I don't remember it hitting me as hard as my mum passing. It's as though a bomb went off in our lives and I've now got to make some sense of it all. One day me n mum were going around IKEA doing normal stuff together and two weeks later she's in hospital and we're being told she has advanced stomach cancer with 3- 6 months left. My mum made 4 but the last month was so hard watching her fade away whilst in the hospice - it's all such a shock and the only person who can help me is now no longer here. I've been reading other posts and know you understand - my friends have been really supportive but I still feel very alone. I don't have any brothers or sisters and I'm not married or with a partner as we split a couple of years ago - all I can do is take it one day at a time. Any other advice for those who have survived this would be greatly appreciated. 

Parents
  • Dear JacM others- I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm really terrified right now of the journey ahead. My mumhas been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer I we have been told she won't have very long. It feels like a terrible nightmare. I have a baby who is my first and only 4 weeks old. The physical pain I felt when I found out her diagnosis was quite astounding. That was two weeks ago- I know now it will come and go in waves of great pain and numbness. I am dreading the months ahead and trying to be good company for her- my dad struggling at mo to care for her post an op on her stomach. I just can't imagine not having a mum and I want to send you my love- to those that are grieving. Because I am grieving already and it's so painful. Screw cancer. Nothing redeeming about it. I hope your pain lessens and you find strength. I will need lots of strength but I don't know from where. Love to you who are in pain right now. You will survive. We all will because we must. Xx

Reply
  • Dear JacM others- I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm really terrified right now of the journey ahead. My mumhas been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer I we have been told she won't have very long. It feels like a terrible nightmare. I have a baby who is my first and only 4 weeks old. The physical pain I felt when I found out her diagnosis was quite astounding. That was two weeks ago- I know now it will come and go in waves of great pain and numbness. I am dreading the months ahead and trying to be good company for her- my dad struggling at mo to care for her post an op on her stomach. I just can't imagine not having a mum and I want to send you my love- to those that are grieving. Because I am grieving already and it's so painful. Screw cancer. Nothing redeeming about it. I hope your pain lessens and you find strength. I will need lots of strength but I don't know from where. Love to you who are in pain right now. You will survive. We all will because we must. Xx

Children
  • Hi nalkate - I'm so sorry to read of your mum it is a terrible shock and I just can't imagine going through what you are going through with a baby to look after as well - you've been in my thoughts today and I too send you love - I find I have to take it a day at a time sometimes even just a morning or afternoon - I miss my mum so much it hurts - I'm trying to keep busy as there lots to sort out at her house and next week I return to work which I'm dreading but know I have to do it - I know my mum wanted me to go on with my life and not to fill it with sorrow but it's hard to feel anything but sadness at the moment. I do want to get through it for her and I'm sure your mum will feel the same. We will find the strength to get through this but I find taking it in small steps easier to cope with than when my mind starts racing into the future..., I really struggled when my mum was in the hospice but I do take peace from knowing I was there with her and telling her how much I loved her - people told me to make the most of the time I had left with her and it's hard when you feel so overwhelmed with sadness but I talked to my mum of happier times and I do take comfort from that now - sorry for rambling on wish I could help ease the pain because it is so awful sending you a big hug xxx