Hi JacM

I lost my mum end of September last year. To me it felt like a bomb gone off to me also. Maybe a car crash, and I felt I was walking in shock for first few months.

You have not much time to get your head around it from the start. I did look after mum for 2 years,

but she had was quite well and a just very poorly quickly at the end. Because  of this I didn't get much help from the hospital.

I lost my dad to cancer as well, 9 years that knocked me hard, so when you mum dies there's no parent to help this time.

6 months on I just can't believe it's gone so quick, the pain inside does get better. Mum was my best friend and hard to think that I'll not see her. The feeling alone is very strong at the start. But someone said to me you feel like this because you was so close to the person. Sounds like you was good to your mum, taking her about.

You right when you say times like this you could do with your mum. I have a brother ok at the start but he never tries to get on.

Try to eat ,as I lforget about food to the end of the day, I remember standing in shops just staring it space as I couldn't think.

Maybe see your GP or i do take those Calms. Chating on here does help in these painful times.

Hi JacM

I lost my mum end of September last year. To me it felt like a bomb gone off to me also. Maybe a car crash, and I felt I was walking in shock for first few months.

You have not much time to get your head around it from the start. I did look after mum for 2 years,

but she had was quite well and a just very poorly quickly at the end. Because  of this I didn't get much help from the hospital.

I lost my dad to cancer as well, 9 years that knocked me hard, so when you mum dies there's no parent to help this time.

6 months on I just can't believe it's gone so quick, the pain inside does get better. Mum was my best friend and hard to think that I'll not see her. The feeling alone is very strong at the start. But someone said to me you feel like this because you was so close to the person. Sounds like you was good to your mum, taking her about.

You right when you say times like this you could do with your mum. I have a brother ok at the start but he never tries to get on.

Try to eat ,as I lforget about food to the end of the day, I remember standing in shops just staring it space as I couldn't think.

Maybe see your GP or i do take those Calms. Chating on here does help in these painful times.

Hi sameboat thanks for replying - I'm so sorry for your loss too - I became my mums full time carer when she was discharged from hospital on 1st December and moved into her house to do this - I am so grateful that I had that time with her as I realise many don't. I had to rush her back into hospital in January as she was vomiting a lot again and they told us the tumour had grown over the stent they had fitted in November and that her cancer was particularly aggressive but I took her home again late January for her then to come down with shingles a couple of weeks later and then just as she was getting over that she became very confused and the pain was worsening and I asked for her to be reassessed in a hospice as I was not impressed with the palliative care in the community. I know that those four months were so precious and we did have some right ol laughs and we managed some good days out but I suppose it was also a very intense time almost like a bubble and just as spring arrived my mum passed. Sorry I realise I'm rambling -my emotions are all over the place and were all over the place when I looked after my mum and I only did it for 3 months really as she spent March in a hospice so 2 years must have been very tough for you. It's just heartbreaking isn't it watching the person you love most in the world die from this vile vile disease but my mum was so strong and truly inspirational she never lost her sense of humour right to the end; she had it in her eyes - she'd even make the nurses giggle - I miss her so much every single day. 

Thank you for telling me the pain does get better as I suppose I need hope that I will get through this - and yes I bought some calms as also struggling to sleep through the night - grief is just terrible just when you really need sleep your body won't allow it!!!!!! Thanks again for your support x