Thank you for your reply CG, yes it was around the same time 29th October.  I do appreciate your kindness

Debbiexxxxx 

Jules,

Once again, thank you for your reply, it does help a little knowing other people are going through the same

Debbiexxxx

Willan,

I am so sorry for your loss, it really is so hard, my husband was diagnosed in 2013 with terminal prostate cancer he passed away 29th Octber, we thought he had a good few more months, but sadly he fell down the stairs and had a bad head injury and whilst in hospital over nine days they said the cancer spread to his lungs and then he got Pneumonia so it was such a shock.  Thank you for your reply

Debbiexxxx 

My husband died in September 2014 - not of cancer but the loss is the same. I thought that the first Christmas would be terribel and it was OK but the second made me feel very alone - then I remembered one of his many sayings - If you are a moaner then you will be a loner - all very well but you have to take time to grieve and it takes a long time to adjust to your new life. I have joined a nationwide group called the Jolly Dollies - a group of widows who meet up to get out of the house. This group know about grief first hand so if you have a teary moment they understand and support you. We do lots of social things. Have a look on gooogle!!

Widow, I am sorry to hear your husband and thank you for your reply, I am getting a phobia about weekends - I hate them, I will Google Jolly Dollies  xxxxx

Hello Deben. I have been reading your posts and agree with everything you are saying and feeling. I lost my beautiful hubby in Aug, so it's almost 6mths and for every good day I seem to have two bad! I feel so lonely, yet I have good friends and family. I'm pleased in a way that you feel like you're gettind a phobia about weekends,cos that's exactly how I feel (thought I was going alittle crackers!!!)....I to hate them with a passion. Think I may google Jolly Dollies too. Sending you a big hug X

Thank you Peach, I too have good family and friends, no children so I live alone, the house is so quiet without him. Another strange thing is that I  feel I can't be away from home for to long as I get anxious feel as though I have to get back home to him.  Hugs to you xxxxxx

Hi my love......Ooh it's so true. I ventured into town the other day and couldn't get back quick enough. I feel like the only place I feel safe and close to him is at home. I talk to him all the time and talk about what I am watching on the television, which seems to be on all the time......can't stand the silence. I have two wonderful sons, but both live away in Newcastle and Bristol. My eldest son lives with his beautiful girlfriend and I wish they lived nearer, but they have their own lives to live. They phone most days and visit when they can, but it's just not the same anymore. I sometime think that he'll just come back into my life, but for now I just seem to be getting through one day at a time and living my life in my head...if that makes sense. X

Peach and cg It is very comforting to know you both feel like I do, peach I have the tv on all the time as I can't stand the silence.  Cg exactly I feel safe and close to sam at home.  Love to you both xxxxxx

Hi Deben, Peach and CG

We are all sadly a part of this forum but not sure how I would have got through it all without its support.  I understand how  you are all feeling and my thoughts are with you all as well as anyone who reads this thread and feels  the pain of grief.  It is such a personal journey but a little easier when shared. Although for me nearly 13 months has passed since I lost my best friend/hubby I still remember the pain of the early days and weeks of grief. Living alone, no one by your side to chat with even though I had supportive friends and of course our children and grandchildren; the times alone were often the hardest to begin with,as suddenly there was a huge hole that nothing could fill. Decisions jointly made are  now mine alone (though in my head I am still seeking his reassurance).

All I can say is adjustments come slowly and cannot be rushed, draw all the strength you can from those close to you, your forum buddies are here to listen and let the good memories carry you through. 

Like you have said the weekends seem longer and I found this strange on a personal note because I was used to spending weeks alone when my man was strong and healthy and worked away from home around the world, sometimes for weeks at a time. I had to dig deep to move forward little by little and my own way of 'coping' was to walk for hours (whatever the weather) especially at weekends.Never really had somewhere in mind but eventually found it calmed me and when I have nothing else arranged I still go walking.

Be kind to yourselves,  Jules x