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Hurting loads

Hope23
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I had thought I was doing better this year but now I feel just as bad as before.  This week it is a year since I was told my Dad was dying, and it is 6 months since my Mum died.  I'm re-living so many memories, my Dad's death in March, watching my Mum grief stricken.  Me trying desperately to help her rebuild her life only for her to be diagnosed with the same cancer in June.  Then watching her deteriorate just like my Dad, until she died in August.  I don't know how to cope anymore.  Losing one parent would have been awful, but if I still  had one we could have grieved together.  Now I've got myself in a state about their house, I so wanted to do the right thing and decided I would do the house up with a view to keeping it for the future and possibly renting.  Now work has started it is a major project, it is upsetting me and I now realise I couldn't rent it.  I wished I'd never started it but I guess I'll just need to do it up to sell.  I feel like I've done everything wrong.  I miss my parents so much, I don't like my life the way it is now. I don't want this unhappiness to carry on another year, I feel like I've lost the happy person I once was and I'm scared she'll never come back.  Sorry for rambling but I just need to write it down.

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    Oh Hope,

    I am sorry to hear you are feeling this low at the moment. But it is small wonder for with the anniversary and all the work clearing the house and now overseeing its re-decoration, any one of these things would would be enough on their own but to have to try and deal with them all at once, it's small wonder your feeling like you are. The happy person you once were will come back trust me, but it will take time, it's something that cant be rushed. In fact I truly believe you will end up stronger than you were before, and one who will use that experience to help other just like you are doing now for you are a very kind and caring person. You have not done everything wrong; I feel sure your parents would approve of everything you have done and are doing. I know the emotional turmoil I went through when I had to clear my mothers house. Little things she had kept made me realize there was a side to my mother I never really knew, for she was much more sentimental than I had ever realized. Several times I found things that just chocked me up. I just had to sit down for a few minutes when it happened. I only lost one parent and that was bad enough so I do feel for you and wish there was something I could do to help. But on the other hand, I feel sure it was you that said on here some weeks ago, we only suffer like this because we loved and cared for our loved ones so much. Hope, you have no need to apologise for rambling, I am an expert at it, in fact I have a degree in it. But you have done the right thing by writing down on here so that people you have helped like me can return the favour.

    Take care and I am sending kind thoughts and best wishes your way. Please keep us updated, Brian.

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    Oh Hope,

    I am sorry to hear you are feeling this low at the moment. But it is small wonder for with the anniversary and all the work clearing the house and now overseeing its re-decoration, any one of these things would would be enough on their own but to have to try and deal with them all at once, it's small wonder your feeling like you are. The happy person you once were will come back trust me, but it will take time, it's something that cant be rushed. In fact I truly believe you will end up stronger than you were before, and one who will use that experience to help other just like you are doing now for you are a very kind and caring person. You have not done everything wrong; I feel sure your parents would approve of everything you have done and are doing. I know the emotional turmoil I went through when I had to clear my mothers house. Little things she had kept made me realize there was a side to my mother I never really knew, for she was much more sentimental than I had ever realized. Several times I found things that just chocked me up. I just had to sit down for a few minutes when it happened. I only lost one parent and that was bad enough so I do feel for you and wish there was something I could do to help. But on the other hand, I feel sure it was you that said on here some weeks ago, we only suffer like this because we loved and cared for our loved ones so much. Hope, you have no need to apologise for rambling, I am an expert at it, in fact I have a degree in it. But you have done the right thing by writing down on here so that people you have helped like me can return the favour.

    Take care and I am sending kind thoughts and best wishes your way. Please keep us updated, Brian.

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