Death of my father

Hi everyone.

My dad just died from cancer this week, the deterioration over the past number of weeks was just so quick. I found it so distressing watching him physically and emotionally fade away in front of us.

I am in my twenties, and my mother just doesn't seem to be coping. I am the one who has had to phone the funeral home etc. She keeps needing to lie down and seems on the verge of an anxiety attack or similar at all times. Everything has to be repeated for her and she is so easily aggravated.

Has anyone been in a similar situation and have you any advice?

My heart is broken, I've lost my dad and now have to be the "adult" of the situation for my younger sibling, with little to no support from our mother. I also feel cruel saying that. Life can be so tough. None of my friends have lost their dad, and I find their messages are kind but it's hard when they (thankfully) don't understand. It's all very lonely. 

 

Parents
  • hello anne e

    you poor thing having to deal with all this awfulness and upset and trauma so young. i lost my dad to cancer . and only 9 days ago my beloved husband also.it was 8 weeks between first gp visit and death- so a massive shock.it's normal for your mum to feel exhausted/tired and irritable and unable to concentrate. this is how i feel a lot of the time at the moment.all she needs is to know that you love her and are there for her.time will heal it all  a bit eventually. this is all a normal part of horrible grief.(which you are suffering as well) life can really very tough-as my dad used to say when i was a kid-life is unfair-and it's true.but these awful trials will make us stronger in the end.i can understand you feel lonely,but there is so much help out there for you .just go online and look-there's loads.wishing you all the very best of everything in the future.  xx

Reply
  • hello anne e

    you poor thing having to deal with all this awfulness and upset and trauma so young. i lost my dad to cancer . and only 9 days ago my beloved husband also.it was 8 weeks between first gp visit and death- so a massive shock.it's normal for your mum to feel exhausted/tired and irritable and unable to concentrate. this is how i feel a lot of the time at the moment.all she needs is to know that you love her and are there for her.time will heal it all  a bit eventually. this is all a normal part of horrible grief.(which you are suffering as well) life can really very tough-as my dad used to say when i was a kid-life is unfair-and it's true.but these awful trials will make us stronger in the end.i can understand you feel lonely,but there is so much help out there for you .just go online and look-there's loads.wishing you all the very best of everything in the future.  xx

Children
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