Hey there, [@JessP93]‍ 

Im so sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful mom. I also, can relate as I lost my dear mommy December 6th 2021 to secondary breast cancer which metastasized to her lungs. She was taken into the hospice 25th November and went downhill so fast due to a severe infection and plueral effusion which couldnt be drained. Im 26, and only child and it was just me and my mom my whole life. My mom was my bestest friend, we were super close, never went a day without eachother. She was and still is my absolute everything, my world and i miss her so dearly. At this point in my grief i would say im still very bitter, bitter how fast it happened and how unfair it was. My mom was only 56, and when i look at her ashes i still dont feel like its real, its almost still unbelievable to me. Im also bitter at her oncologist as i feel she never did take my mom seriously when she was suffering the most. Every other staff member my mom came across was brilliant, especially the hospice staff she was ever so pleased at the care they gave to her, but just felt very failed by oncology. I have major depression and anxiety disorder too, so its an extremely difficult time and Ive been given no choice but to move out of the house we both lived in now too. 

I feel your pain, no matter what age you are, loosing your mom is an empty void that will never be filled. Im still so heartbroken every day, and like you i have friends support but VERY little family support. People always tell me in time the pain doesnt go away but it gets easier to cope with and i really hope this is the case as im struggling so much at the moment .

Please drop me a message if you would like to talk, vent or chat about ANYTHING. My inbox is always open.

Take care and look after yourself

Tee xx

Thanks for you're reply , I think it helps so much talking with people around my age going through the same sort of situation . My heart breaks reading your reply , I was so close to my mum she was more like a sister too so I totally get it there's no bond like it If pleural effusion is where the lungs are surrounded by water that cause chest pain that's exactly what happened to my l , we knew things were bad but after she had that drained she went downhill and people say at least you had a chance to say goodbye but as like you it all happened so fast .

im devestated to hear that you had to move from the family home , how do you feel about that would you rather still be there or are you glad to have a fresh start ?,

my mum bought her house when I was 6 so it's been the family home for 22 years , now I can't bear to visit it ( my mums partner younger brother and sister still live there ).

im also very angry at the fact she's gone , im angry that I didn't see her during the first lockdown , im angry that she was taken so young , that my kids won't feel the love she gave me for years from they're Nan it's just loads of things isn't it . I also think unless you've been through something like this you just don't get it . I've never felt heartbreak like it!

I started the gym this week as I'm going to set a goal to walk up snowdon for the hospice in June and hopefully that will help massively , maybe you should start something , do you have counselling ? I made the first step today and rang the family support at our local hospice and they're going to book me in xx

same to you chat anytime I've only had this account a few days and it already helps sharing experiences xxx

Thanks for you're reply , I think it helps so much talking with people around my age going through the same sort of situation . My heart breaks reading your reply , I was so close to my mum she was more like a sister too so I totally get it there's no bond like it If pleural effusion is where the lungs are surrounded by water that cause chest pain that's exactly what happened to my l , we knew things were bad but after she had that drained she went downhill and people say at least you had a chance to say goodbye but as like you it all happened so fast .

im devestated to hear that you had to move from the family home , how do you feel about that would you rather still be there or are you glad to have a fresh start ?,

my mum bought her house when I was 6 so it's been the family home for 22 years , now I can't bear to visit it ( my mums partner younger brother and sister still live there ).

im also very angry at the fact she's gone , im angry that I didn't see her during the first lockdown , im angry that she was taken so young , that my kids won't feel the love she gave me for years from they're Nan it's just loads of things isn't it . I also think unless you've been through something like this you just don't get it . I've never felt heartbreak like it!

I started the gym this week as I'm going to set a goal to walk up snowdon for the hospice in June and hopefully that will help massively , maybe you should start something , do you have counselling ? I made the first step today and rang the family support at our local hospice and they're going to book me in xx

same to you chat anytime I've only had this account a few days and it already helps sharing experiences xxx