Hey , I'm new to cancer chat but feel like tonight I'm so alone, I'm 28 and lost my mum to kidney cancer in October 2021 , its been 3 months this weekend and I just can't stop crying I miss her so much , I have a younger sister who's 17 and brother 24 who still live at the home address and I can't be there for them because I can't bring myself to go to the house , I live separately with my two children age 3 and 5 who are keeping me going , I feel so much anger that she's gone so young and it angers me when people say well she's out of pain now , I'm glad she's out of pain but that doesn't help , I'll never have my mum again , we never went a day without seeing each other. I have a large group of supportive friends but very little family , I've never felt depressed but now feel worse than ever , my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer July 2019 and after a few different treatments was unsuccessful , although I knew she was sick it never crossed my mind she would go down hill as fast as she did and now I'm left with so much guilt and regrets. Any advice would be appreciated because I just don't want to be here anymore but as a mum you snap out of those thoughts quickly because I'm trying to give my kids the best memories ever and I would never want them to live without me
