Caring with someone for cancer

My husband was disagnosed with a stage 4 tumour at the base of his skull in January this year, he was previously in remission from throat cancer. The diagnosis has hit us both hard and the reality is I will lose him eventually. He was hospitalised two weeks ago as they thought the cancer has spread but the scans showed it had not. He literally went into hospital one man and came out a frail week man. Reality has hit hard and I am in permenant state of anxiety wondering how I will ever hold down a full time job and tend to his needs. They have decided to stop chemo and change it to immunotherapy which is positive but don't know how I will find the strength to deal with it. This man is my whole world. How do people manage? How do you find the work/life/carer balance? To watch his pain and weakness breaks my heart every single day he has always been my strength in difficult times and now I'm losing him to this dispicable illness. 

Parents
  • Hi 

    It sounds like we are both in the same boat. 

    MY husband has stage four advanced stomach cancer got diagnosed Jan this year. 

    Hi also has gone from been a big strong caring postive man to someone I don't recognise anymore.

    He has always been there for me the only person that stuck by me for years while a went through my mental health diagnoses. 

    I feel like the cancer nurse specialist is keeping something from me.

    He coudnt have a 3rd cycle of chemo because he wasn't strong enough. Now they have told him to get strong and may be some weight on then they will see what treatment they can offer

    He is stuggling with sickness they keep trying him with different meds nothing is seem to be working.

    This sounds weird but I'm really scared I'm going to lose him soon.

    I feel guilty about everything I feel like it's wrong to smile it's wrong to eat when he is in so much pain I don't even want to leave him for 20 mins.

    Sorry for the long message I'm here if you want to talk take care 

    Marie  x

     

Reply
  • Hi 

    It sounds like we are both in the same boat. 

    MY husband has stage four advanced stomach cancer got diagnosed Jan this year. 

    Hi also has gone from been a big strong caring postive man to someone I don't recognise anymore.

    He has always been there for me the only person that stuck by me for years while a went through my mental health diagnoses. 

    I feel like the cancer nurse specialist is keeping something from me.

    He coudnt have a 3rd cycle of chemo because he wasn't strong enough. Now they have told him to get strong and may be some weight on then they will see what treatment they can offer

    He is stuggling with sickness they keep trying him with different meds nothing is seem to be working.

    This sounds weird but I'm really scared I'm going to lose him soon.

    I feel guilty about everything I feel like it's wrong to smile it's wrong to eat when he is in so much pain I don't even want to leave him for 20 mins.

    Sorry for the long message I'm here if you want to talk take care 

    Marie  x

     

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