Hi,

I am so sorry to hear everything you and your husband are going through. Just never give up hope and always be that rock for them. My wife died of CNS Lymphoma just 6 months ago after a 10 month battle. Like you I saw her get weaker by the day. She did have a period of remission and we thought all of our prayers had come true, but sadly she relapsed and so I cared for her 24/7 whilst holding down a full time job working from home. She was in and out of hospital having become very susceptible to infections and very nearly died of sepsis. 2 months before she died she couldn't do anything for herself, not even walk. It broke my heart seeing her deteriorate before my eyes. I won't lie to you, it was very tough caring and working and you may become frustrated and angry. I got frustrated by the fact that 8 could only visit my wife in hospital for 1 hour a day due to Covid restrictions and no one else was permitted to see her. All the hours lost where I wanted to be with her and support her.  Fingers crossed the immunotherapy works xx

Hi moodster, Thanks for sharing your experience with me. I'm so very sorry to hear your wife passed away. You sound like you have done an amazing job looking after your wife in a heartbreaking situation.  Covid has held back so many things and the restrictions are so cruel to those with cancer. Can I ask how did you address the caring issues with your work? I have been fortunate to have been able to work from home and my boss has been amazing, but now Covid restrictions are lifting I feel there is an expectation I need to go back to the office at least some of the time? I think this is were my latest bout of anxiety stems from. Did you have anyone to help you with some downtime?  I can't believe our situation has turned so quickly and my husband is struggling so much but I guess that's the nature of the illness. 

Hi,

Oh that sounds so familiar - my wife was diagnosed at stage 4 a couple of months ago and is having a rough time, mostly related to difficulties getting around as she has experienced swelling in her abdomen and legs. At the same time i have 2 young children and a full time job to manage - its over whelming.

I don't think that there is an answer to your question, we just have to do the best that we can - its an awful situation for us, our loved ones, our family, but sadly we have no choice in the matter. All i can say is the old cliche of take one day at a time and take anyone up on any offers of support.

I find chatting on this forum with others in the sam position is really helpful and gives me some level of comfort as we try to thread our way along this impossible pathway.

Take care

Si

Thanks for your reply. So sorry that you share the same news. I have had a bit of a better day today and have come to the conclusion it must just be a one at a time scenario. I've spoken to my doctor today which has helped.  I couldn't even imagine this scenario with small children involved (it's bad enough with the adult ones!) I hope that tomorrow brings your family a better day, and send best wishes from our family to yours.  I hope by talking to others it will help time will tell...
one day at a time xxx 

Hi Opsm 

I'm in similar position to you, my husband has terminal diagnosis, we were told around 12 months in March. The emotional turmoil is a roller and I also wondered how people have coped. I've read through replies you have and it helps to know we aren't alone in how we feel. I feel like I'm going crazy at times. But then I calm down and agree with day at a time, mind you it's hard not to think of the future, it's what we do! But we just need to think on the moment / day we are in. 
I hope you will cope, it's not going to be easy, I want to do my best for my hubby, even when he's been difficult (which I put down to treatment along with awful turmoil he himself will be in) I'm here with him so we get the bad and the good. Sending you best wishes, keep in touch with folk around you and still make time to things for yourself too. X

Hi 

It sounds like we are both in the same boat. 

MY husband has stage four advanced stomach cancer got diagnosed Jan this year. 

Hi also has gone from been a big strong caring postive man to someone I don't recognise anymore.

He has always been there for me the only person that stuck by me for years while a went through my mental health diagnoses. 

I feel like the cancer nurse specialist is keeping something from me.

He coudnt have a 3rd cycle of chemo because he wasn't strong enough. Now they have told him to get strong and may be some weight on then they will see what treatment they can offer

He is stuggling with sickness they keep trying him with different meds nothing is seem to be working.

This sounds weird but I'm really scared I'm going to lose him soon.

I feel guilty about everything I feel like it's wrong to smile it's wrong to eat when he is in so much pain I don't even want to leave him for 20 mins.

Sorry for the long message I'm here if you want to talk take care 

Marie  x

I don’t know how you cope.  I myself am so scared husband diagnosed December throat cancer and then in January osephagus cancer.  Having chemo anf  radiotherapy but I don’t know how to help him. Trying to,act normal but cant  stop thinking the worst.  Feel so physically sick all the time with worry as I love him so much

good luck to you

sorry I cant help