Caring with someone for cancer

My husband was disagnosed with a stage 4 tumour at the base of his skull in January this year, he was previously in remission from throat cancer. The diagnosis has hit us both hard and the reality is I will lose him eventually. He was hospitalised two weeks ago as they thought the cancer has spread but the scans showed it had not. He literally went into hospital one man and came out a frail week man. Reality has hit hard and I am in permenant state of anxiety wondering how I will ever hold down a full time job and tend to his needs. They have decided to stop chemo and change it to immunotherapy which is positive but don't know how I will find the strength to deal with it. This man is my whole world. How do people manage? How do you find the work/life/carer balance? To watch his pain and weakness breaks my heart every single day he has always been my strength in difficult times and now I'm losing him to this dispicable illness. 

Parents
  • Hi,

    Oh that sounds so familiar - my wife was diagnosed at stage 4 a couple of months ago and is having a rough time, mostly related to difficulties getting around as she has experienced swelling in her abdomen and legs. At the same time i have 2 young children and a full time job to manage - its over whelming.

    I don't think that there is an answer to your question, we just have to do the best that we can - its an awful situation for us, our loved ones, our family, but sadly we have no choice in the matter. All i can say is the old cliche of take one day at a time and take anyone up on any offers of support.

    I find chatting on this forum with others in the sam position is really helpful and gives me some level of comfort as we try to thread our way along this impossible pathway.

    Take care

    Si

  • Thanks for your reply. So sorry that you share the same news. I have had a bit of a better day today and have come to the conclusion it must just be a one at a time scenario. I've spoken to my doctor today which has helped.  I couldn't even imagine this scenario with small children involved (it's bad enough with the adult ones!) I hope that tomorrow brings your family a better day, and send best wishes from our family to yours.  I hope by talking to others it will help time will tell...
    one day at a time xxx 

Reply
  • Thanks for your reply. So sorry that you share the same news. I have had a bit of a better day today and have come to the conclusion it must just be a one at a time scenario. I've spoken to my doctor today which has helped.  I couldn't even imagine this scenario with small children involved (it's bad enough with the adult ones!) I hope that tomorrow brings your family a better day, and send best wishes from our family to yours.  I hope by talking to others it will help time will tell...
    one day at a time xxx 

Children
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