I really hope this doesn;t sound selfish, and the main reason I am posting this is to see if anyone else has had the same experience and if so how they coped, and in fact if they coped, becuase I'm struggling and ready to give up.

We were married only 8 months ago and my husband had his cancer diagnosis six weeks later. a shock of course.  Since then he has been dismissive and cruell and downright nasty.  I have my own medical issue which in no way am I comparing, but following some bad news about that yesterday he has today told me that I am medically trying to 'trump' him and take the attention away from him (even though I haven't told anyone else).  He tells me that I am not nice enough or good enough to look after him and that our relationship has to go 'on hold' until he decides otherwise.  If I try and keeps things 'normal' I'm accused of not caring and if I try and talk about it and see how he's doing I'm drawing attention to it and being a *** about it.  Not once has he bothered to see if I'm ok (I have an elderley mum who needs support, and autistic son and a full time job.  If I say I'm in need of a walk with the dog on my own I'm neglecting him.  He had a procedure two days ago (day surgery) and i genuinely feel that it would have been better for everybody if he hadnt survived the anaesthetic.  There, I said it.  I'm a kind and compassionate person and try and give any help to anyone but being hated and critisized and spoken down to day in day out is very challenging, actually I just want to cry but I'm too busy. Thinking about it he has become an abuser.  If I don't challenge his abuse then I am an enabler.  I'm just wondering if cancer has done this to other men, or if he's just decided to show his true colours?