husband's cancer has made him nasty

I really hope this doesn;t sound selfish, and the main reason I am posting this is to see if anyone else has had the same experience and if so how they coped, and in fact if they coped, becuase I'm struggling and ready to give up.

We were married only 8 months ago and my husband had his cancer diagnosis six weeks later. a shock of course.  Since then he has been dismissive and cruell and downright nasty.  I have my own medical issue which in no way am I comparing, but following some bad news about that yesterday he has today told me that I am medically trying to 'trump' him and take the attention away from him (even though I haven't told anyone else).  He tells me that I am not nice enough or good enough to look after him and that our relationship has to go 'on hold' until he decides otherwise.  If I try and keeps things 'normal' I'm accused of not caring and if I try and talk about it and see how he's doing I'm drawing attention to it and being a *** about it.  Not once has he bothered to see if I'm ok (I have an elderley mum who needs support, and autistic son and a full time job.  If I say I'm in need of a walk with the dog on my own I'm neglecting him.  He had a procedure two days ago (day surgery) and i genuinely feel that it would have been better for everybody if he hadnt survived the anaesthetic.  There, I said it.  I'm a kind and compassionate person and try and give any help to anyone but being hated and critisized and spoken down to day in day out is very challenging, actually I just want to cry but I'm too busy. Thinking about it he has become an abuser.  If I don't challenge his abuse then I am an enabler.  I'm just wondering if cancer has done this to other men, or if he's just decided to show his true colours?

 

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  • Hello Jen,

                   cancer is not only a disease of the body,its very much one of the mind as well,you only have to read some of the posts on this site to make you realise how much fear and desperation it can inflict upon sufferers.They can no longer be the person they would choose,but become driven by invading demons in a frenzy of absolute hopeless helplessness.

                                                                                     Cancer is also a disease of the sufferers partner,in as much as they stand in the way of a barrage of mindless raging against the situation the patient hurls out.Its not necessarily directed, its just you are the one standing by their side 24/7,the one with whom they let slip their guard and reserve,comfortable in your presence, the only one who they can show the true manifestation of all their fears too.

                                                                                For men it can be about the loss of strength,unable to be the provider,subconciously driving the partner away from what they perceive to be a dying cause, and unable to stand the pain accummalating day by day, but equally unable to say that to the person as they do not want to lose the one they love, torn emotionally and no idea how to cope.

                                                                                                                                                    The greatest irony is that in doing so damage what they love the most,and what could help them the most.Do l recognise what l have written,yes,did l recognise this before lt did any personal damage,yes.Thankfully l can lay bare my emotions and feelings,bring them out to the light of of day ,examine them and recognise them for what they are,and make adjustments. l am not sure that everyone has that ability,especially when stress levels have long since disappeared over the horizon.

     

                                       Its not an easy situation you find yourself in,and not one l feel qualified to offer advice upon,only an insight and perspective from one that faced his own demons and came out the other side intact,l truly hope you both manage to do the same,

                                                                                                           David

Reply
  • Hello Jen,

                   cancer is not only a disease of the body,its very much one of the mind as well,you only have to read some of the posts on this site to make you realise how much fear and desperation it can inflict upon sufferers.They can no longer be the person they would choose,but become driven by invading demons in a frenzy of absolute hopeless helplessness.

                                                                                     Cancer is also a disease of the sufferers partner,in as much as they stand in the way of a barrage of mindless raging against the situation the patient hurls out.Its not necessarily directed, its just you are the one standing by their side 24/7,the one with whom they let slip their guard and reserve,comfortable in your presence, the only one who they can show the true manifestation of all their fears too.

                                                                                For men it can be about the loss of strength,unable to be the provider,subconciously driving the partner away from what they perceive to be a dying cause, and unable to stand the pain accummalating day by day, but equally unable to say that to the person as they do not want to lose the one they love, torn emotionally and no idea how to cope.

                                                                                                                                                    The greatest irony is that in doing so damage what they love the most,and what could help them the most.Do l recognise what l have written,yes,did l recognise this before lt did any personal damage,yes.Thankfully l can lay bare my emotions and feelings,bring them out to the light of of day ,examine them and recognise them for what they are,and make adjustments. l am not sure that everyone has that ability,especially when stress levels have long since disappeared over the horizon.

     

                                       Its not an easy situation you find yourself in,and not one l feel qualified to offer advice upon,only an insight and perspective from one that faced his own demons and came out the other side intact,l truly hope you both manage to do the same,

                                                                                                           David

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