Hi.

I'm sad to have to say that Mum's health has deteriorated since Monday and unfortuanately there is nothing that can be done. We're basically just waiting for the worse case scenario to happen.

Linsey xxx

I'm so sorry to hear this Linsey, no words will ever be enough. I will pray for you and your mum. I hope you've got support around you at this sad time. 

Big big hugs to you, lost for words I'm so sorry xxx

Hi butterfly89, 

I am a female, 25 years old and my father was jsut diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer. We just found out this news last week. As it's still new, I have had a hard time sorting out my feelings and right now, I'm feeling a lot of anger and sadness. Some days I'm okay, but there's always this dark cloak of sadness and fear hanging over me. I don't know what the future will bring, and I don't know what to do right now. I never thought I'd be this young and have to deal with my parents having a terminal illness or terminal cancer. It's heartbreaking. No words to describe how horrible this feeling is. My dad's cancer is in his bones and lymph nodes, and doctors have said there's nothing much they can do. 

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. It's comforting to know I'm alone in my feelings (not sure if that's the right word), but it sucks that we're all stuck in these circumstances. It's too bad all our families have been touched with cancer. 

I just wanted you to know you aren't alone, as i know there's nothing I can really say to make you feel better. 

xoxo

Hello GiftThePresent, 

Thank you for your reply to my post. 

I'm ever so sorry you find yourself on here though and your father's recent diagnosis. Big hugs to you and the difficult time you're going through. The beginning is always very raw, I remember very well how I felt when I was first told...something I think will stay with me for the rest of my life because I've never known heartbreak or fear like it. I remember feeling so terrified and having so many questions in my head such as why us? Why my dad? Isn't there something out there that can cure him? Etc... but all you can do my lovely is take each day as it comes. It's very difficult and it's a long process but that's all you can do. You'll go through different emotions...upset, anger, frustration, numbness. Has your dad been offered any type of treatment such as chemotherapy? 

It doesn't get easier but you learn how you cope with it, 15 months it's been since my dad was diagnosed and as times gone on I feel stronger, I've learnt a lot to do with his cancer, we keep him positive and don't treat him any different which is something he wanted, just supporting him and spending time with him. Hardest part of it all is knowing behind closed doors he is very different and I know this because of what my mum tells me..I've caught my dad at times sit there in deep thought with tears in his eyes and this breaks me just wondering what the hell he's going through inside. The worst thing he said to me was Christmas Day, I took photos and videos of the family dancing and having a laugh and I played one of the videos back to my Dad when it was just him and I in the living room, we laughed and he turned to me and said 'make sure you keep that video, you might need it one day to remember me by.'  Sorry for rambling on...just thought I'd share that as I've hardly told anyone.

Yes I complebetely understand its not that it's nice knowing others are going through the same but it's comforting knowing you're not alone. Do you have much support around you? 

Please come on here and keep talking if you need to...as you can see from this post there's quite a handful of us going through the same thing. Xxx

Hi Butterfly89,

Thank you for your kind words. My dad's cancer is being controlled right now with hormone therapy. So he has to get an injection every three months for the rest of his life. The doctors have said these injections should keep him alive for three years. I believe we would move to chemotherapy after that point, but i'm not really sure. There is nothing that can really be done for my dad other than that. 

We had a scare yesterday because my dad was feeling chest pains, so we went to the hospital and were there until almost midnight. We were told that with the cancer being in his bones that his bones are much more fragile, and even a cough can fracture his bones. We found out that some of his ribs and his sternum are fractured, and that's what is causing him pain. His first injection of the hormone thrapy was on Friday, so we think that maybe this injection may be what is causing his bone pain. It's just hard to see him in pain, and not being able to do a whole lot. I have been doing all I can for him, but it can be very stressful and I forget that I have to take care of myself. 

I haven't been eating or sleeping properly, and taking care of myself has been put on the back burner. Nothing else really seems like it matters right now. 

As for you, I feel so deeply for you. I know how difficult it must be, I knwo we aren't in the same situation, but they are very similar. We have to try to stay strong and positive or our fathers. I do have a handful of people and friends that i've been talking to. I'm also going to visit my aunt this weekend, and just get out of the house. I hope that we can both find some kind of peace in our mind's, but i know this won't be easy for both of us. 

Hi, 

Sorry for a late reply my partner was in a car accident on Friday luckily he's OK and we will just need to get a new car. 

Don't know anything about hormone therapy injections, how do they work? Can he not be given chemotherapy any sooner? How is your father now regarding his chest pains? Is he back at home or currently in hospital? That's very scary to think even a cough could fracture his bones must be very painful when it does happen. I know what you mean it can be so easy to forget about yourself because your putting your time and effort into other things and worrying. But when you can then do just little things for yourself. 

My dad is at the hospital today receiving his latest CT scan results which will tell us what the cancers currently doing and if it's grown any since his last one which was 12 weeks ago. Awaiting a call to see how things are. I know their both worried it's not going to be good news but even if it's not it doesn't mean it's terrible news it could just mean a slight change. Staying positive doesn't come easy but sometimes it's all you can try and do through tough times. It's not all doom and gloom, since his diagnosis last year we've spent more time as a family and have become closer it's sad it had to be under these circumstances however I'm very grateful that we've come together and are supporting one another when it really matters. X

Hi Butterfly89, 

Oh, I'm so happy to hear that your partner is okay! No need to apologize!

Basically the hormaone injections keep the prostate cancer at bay, because from what I understand prostate cancer thrives on testosterone, so these shots will make my dad's body stop producing testosterone. So he wil basically have side effects like going through menopause (hot flashes, bone thinning, mood changes). Chemotherapy is usually given after the hormone therapy stops working, which is uaully 2-3 years after his first hormone injections. The cancer begins to find a way to survive without testosterone (or something). i'm not a doctor, so this is my own words of my understanding of it! The medication he is taking will slowly stop working. 

My dad is still feeling some pain in his chest, but he is feeling better. He mentioned it's more like a nagging pain now, before he was having trouble breathing without the pain. He has a fracture on his sternum that bothers him somewhat. He is now back at home, we didn't have to stay at the hospital. He is now having to get his sick benefits sorted as he will no longer be working, we didn't realize how fragile he was. he's always been a very hard worker, very strong and muscular. He works in construction, and had been working up until last week. I'm surprised he was able to work so long without getting hurt. 

Can you tell me how your dad's CT scan goes? i hope it shows that the cancer has not spread. I hope it can still be managed. It's so hard when we can't help or there's nothing that we can really do to help the ones we love. If you ever need to chat, I'm always here :)

Oh wow that's so interesting to read how the cancer can thrive off of his testosterone, my mum mentioned the other day about how cancer needs DNA to grow. So sometimes they need to kill the DNA to stop the cancer from growing and multiplying. It's so involved isn't it but very interesting to read about. I hope your dads hormone injections go well for him. Glad he's back at home now and the pains eased somewhat for him. I know it's going to be hard for him to give up work but it will be the best thing for him as pushing himself could end up doing him harm. He sounds very strong and a hard worker to have been working only up until last week. 

Like your dad my Dad's been in the building trade his whole life up until 18 months ago when he had to give up working because it was becoming too much for him and he almost passed out twice which is very dangerous if you're up a ladder or dealing with heavy machinery. It's been tough for such an active person to give up literally everything and he's so frustrated a lot of the time that he doesn't have the energy any more to be able to do half the things he did before. 

My Dad's CT scan revealed that the cancer has significantly grown in the lungs and liver and treatment will be needed to start urgently. He will be going back onto chemo but it will be done differently this time round it's very hard to understand let alone explain. Luckily it's not spread however it's grown a lot in those organs. But he knew it probably had grown just from systems he'd been having like night sweats, tiredness etc. 

Thank you and like wise :-) 

How's Everyone getting on? 

Not heard from anyone else so was just wondering how everyone's coping? 

Hi Butterfly.

My Mum passed 11 days ago. We had the funeral yesterday. I somehow managed to make it through the day, probably down to my friends and 4 glasses of wine. To be honest, I don't know what to do now. I feel lost.

Hope you're okay

Linsey xxx