looking after mum is breaking me

Hi,

I've joined this group to try and express how I feel and talk to people who are going through the same. It's comforting knowing people are having the same emotions as generally I find that people don't know what to say to me. So here goes.....

My mum is 53. She caught a cold at the beginning of the summer holidays and was told she had a chest infection, then plurecy...chest X-ray.ct and biopsy. Long story short she didn't get better and my sister took her to a and e before we had the results as mum really wasn't looking well.  On 14th November 2014 they told my mum she had stage 4 lung cancer. Already had spotting on the bones in various places. Her hip broke while she was in hospital due to cancer in the hip. They let her out on 28th November and she came to stay with me. They gave her some chemo in the hope it would slow things down but over Xmas she became unwell and a CT revealed that the primary tumour in her lung had continued to grow even with the chemo so they stopped. She has had some radiotherapy to help with pain. It's difficult looking after her. I feel so helpless. She is so young to have this. I know it can happen to anyone but seems so unfair. So now it's a waiting game.mtaking each day as it comes.ma she won't ask how long she has and I know they can't tell you anyways. Anyone else dealing with stage 4 lung? Feel so many emotions at the moment. It's tearing me apart,m 

Parents
  • Hi i love mars bars and sinead

    my name is Sara I'm 31 And my dear mummy passed away only last weekend! 28.02 I wanted to reply as I know what your going through. My mum battled bowel cancer for over 4 years but Xmas last year went down hill very quickly! In the end she was like a 90 year old woman, she was 56. Now she is gone and tbh it hasn't sunk in yet she died 6 days after my sisters wedding. I guess I just want to day cherish every mmoment be with your mum as much as you can and tell her how much you love her, my mum is gone now but you still have this chance. Love to heat back from you both Sara xx

  • Hey Sara i am so sorry to hear of the passing of your mother.thoughts&prayers are with you all.x

    Im 29 and mum will be 56 in coupla weeks..she the same she looks like she is about 85/90 the way is trying to move..i do try cherish every time with her but its getting harder.always here is you wish to talk to as grieving is a long hard process..Sinead x

  • Hi Sinead

     

    Thank you very much.

     

    yesterday was very hard with mothers day and it only being 2 week since her death it felt way to soon to be going back to the cemetary.

     

    How is ur mum now? have the doctors said much lately is she at home? do keep me updated, having gone through all this recently i may be able to help in some ways.

     

    Take care Sara. xx

Reply
  • Hi Sinead

     

    Thank you very much.

     

    yesterday was very hard with mothers day and it only being 2 week since her death it felt way to soon to be going back to the cemetary.

     

    How is ur mum now? have the doctors said much lately is she at home? do keep me updated, having gone through all this recently i may be able to help in some ways.

     

    Take care Sara. xx

Children
  • Hey Sara, im sure yesterday was a tough day for you.hope you have good memories to cherish&talk about..will keep ya in me prayers!

    my mum slowly getting worse seening new things every coupla days like when i seen her at wkend she near fell three times like her legs going from under her.it so hard watching her get worse.she is away for a full body scan today to see whats going on in her legs.also she waitn to see whats in the bowels as their was narrowing/shadow in mri scan..yeah she at home just not as mobile isnt driving as much weve always said once she reduces the driving itl be a big sing shes given up the fight.i know she can only fight it and put on a front for so long.i can see were i get it from i put on great front when with mum but when i go away i crumble cause im seeing every wee thing.then end up taking it out on myself as thats how i deal with it best&release the pain thats inside me.just gotta take it one day at a time.take carr and hear from u sn..Sinead x