looking after mum is breaking me

Hi,

I've joined this group to try and express how I feel and talk to people who are going through the same. It's comforting knowing people are having the same emotions as generally I find that people don't know what to say to me. So here goes.....

My mum is 53. She caught a cold at the beginning of the summer holidays and was told she had a chest infection, then plurecy...chest X-ray.ct and biopsy. Long story short she didn't get better and my sister took her to a and e before we had the results as mum really wasn't looking well.  On 14th November 2014 they told my mum she had stage 4 lung cancer. Already had spotting on the bones in various places. Her hip broke while she was in hospital due to cancer in the hip. They let her out on 28th November and she came to stay with me. They gave her some chemo in the hope it would slow things down but over Xmas she became unwell and a CT revealed that the primary tumour in her lung had continued to grow even with the chemo so they stopped. She has had some radiotherapy to help with pain. It's difficult looking after her. I feel so helpless. She is so young to have this. I know it can happen to anyone but seems so unfair. So now it's a waiting game.mtaking each day as it comes.ma she won't ask how long she has and I know they can't tell you anyways. Anyone else dealing with stage 4 lung? Feel so many emotions at the moment. It's tearing me apart,m 

Parents
  • Hi I'm going throw the same as you  my mum had ovarian cancer and now has stage 4 liver cancer and she has been in hostptail beatson from December and they have moved her tO St andrews hospice for end of life care it's hard I have had thoughts of kill myself because I could not cope looking after my mum  I'm now seeing a consular at the hospice now and taking tablets to help me mabey you should speak to your mums  doctor about hospice care just to give you a break they are fantastic can't fault it one bit they don't just look after your mum they look after you as well  should try it 

Reply
  • Hi I'm going throw the same as you  my mum had ovarian cancer and now has stage 4 liver cancer and she has been in hostptail beatson from December and they have moved her tO St andrews hospice for end of life care it's hard I have had thoughts of kill myself because I could not cope looking after my mum  I'm now seeing a consular at the hospice now and taking tablets to help me mabey you should speak to your mums  doctor about hospice care just to give you a break they are fantastic can't fault it one bit they don't just look after your mum they look after you as well  should try it 

Children
  • Hey Bobo...yeah im same struggling big time..had the same thoughts&do self harm when coming away from mum slowly getting worse..i go to counsellor after 4 or 5 sessions she knows im not a talker.but getting there.i hide all from my mum i put on the best front ever in front of her.but come away worse.i just gota take it one day at a time!x