Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply.

Hopewells - I am  sorry to hear about both your Mum and your little brother, although good news that he is on the mend, and am sorry you are going through all this at such a young age.  I wish you well with all that lies ahead.  I take on board what you say about feeling lucky for the time I have had with my Mum, but that doesn't necessarily make what she is going through any easier to deal with - with things like this, it's probably best not to try and compare who is luckier than who, as when you are going through it, I'm sure it's just as hard for all of us for many different reasons and in many different ways.  Thank you for your advice and your prayers and for sharing your story.

Mickied - thanks also for your reply, you are absolutely right that the only way to deal with this is to live one day at a time, and I absolutely have to focus on doing that.  But you are right that it comes down to the kind of person you are, and just because something like this happens, you can't suddently change the way you feel or react to things.  I wish you all the strength to get through this to, and please stay in touch as  I feel there are some similarities in the way we are feeling and coping.

Brian - a massive thanks to you again, you write so well and manage to say so many of the right things.  Thank you for your wishes.  I am feeling better this week, and planning a few more trips to spend time with Mum  I just want to until we are given some more indication fo what the future holds, and without sounding morbid, would never want to regret not spending time with her - she keeps feeling guilty about us travelling to see her, so I am having a job convincing her that we do it because we want to!  All the very best to you and please stay in touch.

Catherine x

Hi Catherine

As they say life can be so cruel sometimes and it can be very hard to try and get through each day as it comes.  How is your mum keeping and how are you?

I kept your mum in my prayers and discovered last week that a young baby who undergone a heart operation survived and is on the mend so sometimes there is someone listening.

Thank you for the invitation to stay in touch which I promise I will do.

Take care

Mickied

Hi Catherine,

Thanks once again for your kind words. The hospital finally found out my father had a twisted bowel which got worse at times. They finally operated on him and he is now home recuperating. It has taken a lot out of him as he is still very weak. I am both amazed and proud of him as next month he will be 91. To have been in and out of hospital 11 times since October and still not have given in shows the fighting spirit he has.

As for me I have had the results of my latest blood test a couple of weeks ago and my PSA is still the lowest that can be measured at 0.01. That make it sixteen months in a row now. My diabetes and cholesterol are also very good so I feel I am so very lucky to have such good results.

Thank you for asking Catherine when I know you have enough problems of you own. I am so glad I found this site, nearly a year ago now as I have met so many wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate people like Jules and yourself and so many others. Talking to you all is a real privilege.

Have a great wekend, and thanks once again for your kind words. Best wishes to you and your family, Brian.

Mickied,

So sorry for not replying to you sooner, but I read your message last week and as always your kind words really did the trick and lifted my spirits.

Suffice to say, life has been somewhat crazy this last week - have been travelling up and down the M1/A46 to Lincoln and back, but it has been worth every minute to spend time with Mum, even when she has been too weak to talk, I've just been able to sit and hold her hand.

The hospice she is in in a wonderful place - I had my husband and daughter with me last weekend, and we were a little worried about a toddler being there but the staff embarced us all and made us so welcome.

All in all, I think she is  in a better place than a week ago - the future is completely uncertain, the docs won't commit, but she is rested and comfortable and at ease with where she is and what is happening.  We couldn't really ask for more under the circumstances.

Thanks again for your support and I hope all is well with you, take care and have a good weekend,

Catherine x

Brian,

Apologies for the delayed reply, but I read the wonderful news of your Dad's and your own progress with much happiness.  Long may it last for both of you.

I couldn't agree more with your words about how good it was to find this site, and what a difference it has made to share stories with so many people.  It always makes me feel better to think that people will take the time to help, and for that I am grateful.

We are in a better place than a week ago - the future is completely uncertain for my mum, in terms of time, but she is at ease and comfortable and rested and in a wonderful hospice where she is getting amazing care.  I've been with her as much as possible, and will be going again this weekend.

For now, things are as good as they can be under the circumstances and for that we have to take comfort.

Thanks again for all your words of support,

Catherine x

Hi Catherine

Just read your recent posts to Mickied and Brian (always so supportive to everyone on the forum) and am so pleased to read that your Mum is a lot more comfortable and peaceful in the hospice surroundings.  Somehow it makes visiting that much easier when you feel the warmth from the staff which includes the whole family not matter what your age.  I am also sure that your Mum will feel a lot less like a 'number' and more a real person with real needs (which are addressed) as the staff are very caring and considerate.  Wishing you all a peaceful weekend and a good visit to see your Mum and Dad. virtual hugs and best wishes. Jules

Hi Catherine,

There is absolutely no need to apologize for you have so many thing to worry about. I feel glad your mother is in a good hospice. I found out when my mother was in one, they are better at administering pain relife far better than a hospital. And the staff seem to have more time to spend with the patient.

So I am very pleased to hear your mother is at ease. This must be a big relief for you but you must feel tired from all the travelling you are doing. I hope this period of peace for your dear mother continues and that she increases in strength as a result. It is so hard when our loved ones future is uncertain for we cant make plans.

I felt my mother would be here forever and I do still miss her. She would be so proud of her great grandchildren and is missing seeing them grow up. But I have met up with my sister twice in the last week or ,and who only lives about 1 1/2 hours drive from where I live and who I knew nothing about until about twenty years ago. My mother had to have her adopted when she was a young baby and I only found out about her after finding my father in Canada. I spent last Sunday walking round a National Trust garden with her and several times things she said reminded me so much of my mother. She has the same zany sense of humour as my mother so although she never met my mother until I managed to locate her about twenty years ago, I feel a part of my mother lives on in my sister.

Anyway I have rambled enough for one day. Please take care and I send best wishes to you, you mother and family, Brian.

Hi Catherine

There is no need to apologise.  I am so glad that my input helped a bit and thank you for this.

I am so glad to hear your mum is more comfortable and is aware of what is happening in the hospice.  The staff there must do a wonderful job and as Jules says the people there are treated like a person and not another number by other members of the medical profession.  Just take each day as it comes Catherine and enjoy your time with your mum even if it is just to sit and hold her hand and let her know you are there.  I am sure your mum was delighted to see your little one last weekend.

I wish there was more I could say Catherine to make things easier but there isn't.

Just found out the other day a brother of my father's is in hospital with bronchial pnuemonia in both lungs and it doesn't look too good.

Take care and keeping your mum in my prayers

Mickied

Thanks so much for getting in touch Jules - you are absolutely right, we have all been so much more comfortable visiting Mum this last week, and the hospice staff just work around us and never make us feel like we are in the way.  In fact quite the opposite.  The ratio of staff to patients is pretty much 1 to 1 so the level of care is extremely high and nothing is too much trouble.

Thanks as always for your kind words and the virtual hugs, they are much needed and much appreciated!

Take care and thinking of you and your husband often xx

Hi again,

Thanks again for the words of comfort, always so appreciated.

Just wanted to say so sorry to hear the news of your dad's brother, and hope he will be well looked after where he is, and is now as well and comfortable as can be.

Thinking of you,

Catherine x

Hi Mickied - sorry, that last message I posted was in reply to yours, but I didnt put your name on it!  Take care xx

Hi Brian,

Like you, I thought Mum would be here forever, it is only really when something like this happens that you realise that we are all here for quite short time really, and that we are very dependent emotionally on our loved ones.  It's that reason that makes me feel so vulnerable when I think of mum not being here.  But as you say, I often think of your words about parents living on in their children and it was lovely to read your story of your sister, who is proof of this.  It sounds like you have had  some big events happen in your life, some very happy and some very sad, but I am sure these have all helped make you the very kind and wise man you so clearly are!

Thank you for all your good wishes,

Catherine x

Hi Brian,

Like you, I thought Mum would be here forever, it is only really when something like this happens that you realise that we are all here for quite short time really, and that we are very dependent emotionally on our loved ones.  It's that reason that makes me feel so vulnerable when I think of mum not being here.  But as you say, I often think of your words about parents living on in their children and it was lovely to read your story of your sister, who is proof of this.  It sounds like you have had  some big events happen in your life, some very happy and some very sad, but I am sure these have all helped make you the very kind and wise man you so clearly are!

Thank you for all your good wishes,

Catherine x